My Point – and I do have one…
In the Monty Python “Argument” sketch, a man wants to take lessons in having an argument. But the instructor, rather than teaching the skills of constructing a rational argument, just says the opposite of whatever the man says. Some defenders of the COGs appear to believe the rationale of web-authors who disagree with anything COG-like is like that of the instructor.
When I see the Painful Truth and other COG-blogs labelled as anti-COG, I take some offense. In the COG universe, COG and anti-COG collision theoretically results in annihilation. As this does not happen in the real world, I have always preferred terms such as COG-critical or critique of purely unreasonable COG for sites that point out the anomalies, inconsistencies, and downright asinine antics of the WCG splinters.
Back in Spokesman’s Club, we endured harsh, even brutal, criticism of our speaking foibles. Tempered with the motto iron sharpens iron we were being “groomed” to add to the lay pool of men available to carry out minister-assigned duties. We were supposed to be thankful for correction, and use the admonishment to our betterment.
This has been my feeling about COG-critical posts – they provide feedback to the splinter leaders, who can use the observations to correct problems and clean up their act! Rather than dismissive attacks on these sites, splinter leaders should thank those who post articles for the service they provide free of charge, without cost or obligation!
Personally, I prefer to criticize trivial matters in more jocular jibes and tend to use more serious statements to chip away at the fundamentally flawed foundation on which Armstrongism is built.
Note to COG leaders – of course, not everything you read on critique sites contain useful suggestions for you to immediately apply to save your troubled ministry. Many posts are simply humorous observations, sometimes taken to the extreme. I’ll conclude with a story heard at Spokesman’s Club: the anecdote of a farmer and his mule. As the farmer was about to lead his mule to the field, he grabbed a club and whacked to mule on its head. To the horrified onlookers he explained, I did that to get his attention.
Hoss.
Unfortunately, Cult of Herbert Armstrong leaders are like stage four terminal patients who think they are just fine and don’t need any help.
What could they do to truly fix the environment?
1. Dump British Israelism. This is impossible to do because all their histrionic hyperbole requires it to support them as false prophets: Without the fear of impending doom for the United States and British Commonwealth, there isn’t any incentive for people to flee from the wrath to come.
2. Dump the false history of the church. It was all fabricated by Ellen G. White, stolen by Dugger and Dodd and plagiarized by Herbert Armstrong. We can prove it isn’t true: The Waldensians didn’t keep the Sabbath. We asked them. The other supposed groups in line never kept the Holydays. Without this history though, the Armstrongist community has no real claim to legitimacy.
3. Dump tithing: We’ve proved it doesn’t apply under the New Covenant. Unfortunately, the paid ministry has to rely on faith to continue and there’s no way to fund the Feasts. At minimum, there is not and never has been any tithing on wages, wild game and fish.
4. Feasts must be voluntary — there is no funding and according to Allan Knight, there is weak support in the New Testament for them. They were a celebration for Old Testament Israelites to lead to New Covenant redemption. They are not required for salvation: They were physical observances by a people who did not have the “Holy Spirit”. It would be a nice celebration to keep the Festivals as honoring God, but frankly, we are supposed to love God, not fear Him. Without the Feasts there isn’t much to hold Armstrongists together, although they will probably still have their Christmas / New Year’s celebrations disguised as Family whatever. And by the way, nobody has really figured out the calendar accurately.
5. Dump your interpretation of Daniel 8, Daniel 9 and Ezekiel 38 — we’ve debunked your interpretation rather thoroughly. Of course, without that, your whole prophecy scenario goes down the drain.
6. Honor your congregation. Treat them as equals. Minister to them. As it is, you oppress them, steal from them, brow beat them. You need to help them make the right decisions, not police and punish them (especially bad when it’s about makeup, skirt lengths and hair lengths).
7. Give up your narcissism. It is a serious mental disorder. It makes you insufferable. Not only that, narcissists don’t have love for others and are therefore no narcissist can be a true Christian. That means that most of you not only aren’t qualified ministers, you aren’t even Christians and have no idea what you are doing.
Maybe it would be better if you just stopped what you are doing and close up shop: According to Scripture, you will have to give account for those under your (ha! ha!) care and will receive the greater judgment.
You will burn.
All this assumes the Bible is true, of course. You might want to find a way to prove that to yourself.
Joe Sr started dumping doctrines and probably thought “So far, so good…” until he hit #3. Little Joe had to make some modifications to #3 tp make sure the members who remained kept what remained of the WCG going.
And never managed to even get #6 and #7.
Good analysis Hoss, and excellent recommendations from Douglas.
Back in the late’70s, as we were anxiously waiting for a new art form to supplant that horrible disco music, we didn’t yet understand how horrible the emerging punk rock would become, and were thinking of it as a revival of garage rock, which had given us many favorite three minute AM classics during the ’60s. Suddenly, there were articles in Rolling Stone about a new group called the Sex Pistols. They were fronted by Johnny Rotten, ne John Lydon, who delighted himself in spitting on and otherwise degrading his audience, many of whom had deliberately fought to get front seats because they loved this. I thought to myself at the time, “Wow, this is as if Herbert W. Armstrong became a rock star!”
BB
As Lt Columbo would say, One more thing… or as COGWriter will occasionally append to a quote, Perhaps I should add…
If I had not been a willing participant in the workings of the WCG, I would probably not show more than a casual interest in HWA, the WCG, or the splinters that see themselves as the extension of HWA’s mythical true church. I have no real interest in visiting sites that critique the Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, …
Again, because the splinters do represent themselves as the true church, they give others the scriptural right to challenge their claims. Repeating phrases such as “don’t believe me”, “prove all things” (usually used out of context) splinters should expect to be tested. To a certain degree, the religious leaders did have the right and obligation to question Jesus, as scribes, Pharisees, and John the Baptist’s followers did – although some overstepped that right.
So, splinters of the WCG, you should rejoice that we are working to fulfill our commission!