"The Call"

I don’t think about my childhood much.  It’s not that it was particularly awful or that I suffered irreparable damage it’s just that it feels unimportant.  Almost as if it happened to another person or it was a movie I saw once but can’t quite remember the details.  It somehow does not connect to me anymore, does not inhabit my soul the way childhood does in others.

But I do reflect now and then, dredging up distant memories like faded photographs blurred and distorted with time and age but still recognizable if you look closely enough.  If you squint just right, adjust the light the image will begin to make sense and you will find yourself saying, “Ah, yes, I remember now. I had forgotten.”

Upon recent reflection into the question of spirituality and what that means to me I found myself looking at some of those distant memories.  I can see myself as a young girl, hair brushed and held securely with a barrette, my nicest dress ironed and immaculate, my white socks and patent leather shoes, everything in its proper place nothing allowed to be out of order. I was sitting in a hard metal folding chair with my notebook and bible waiting for our weekly pilgrimage to “God’s House” to get underway.  Two hours of religious instruction in “the way” about to begin.   The ritual of prayer, hymns, and dutiful note taking that was a part of my weekly duties as a good daughter.  This weekly preparation to save my soul from the sinful and dangerous environment in which I lived known to me as “the world” as if it was a separate state or distant and foreign land was somehow going to keep me safe from the devil “having his way with me” as my mother said making it sound so salacious and almost sexually exciting to a newly hormonal young lady.

I was a good student.  I accepted this teaching because it was expected and it was all there was.  One way~one God.  However it never moved me, never swept me up into a feeling of grace, never inspired or delivered me from heartache.  I was told the answers before I was ever allowed to ask the questions.  In fact even the questions were picked for me and those that didn’t fit into the churches dogma were quickly discarded forbidden to further discussion.  I did what I did, believed what I believed out of fear.  Fear of punishment, fear of abandonment, and fear of not pleasing this God that was a jealous and demanding God somehow displeased with the human nature he supposedly created in his infinite and infallible wisdom.  Forever paying the price for the sin of the first man and woman, a debt that Jesus paid but somehow I still carried on my account.  The sin of individual choice, thought, and desire.  It didn’t add up (perhaps why I have always hated mathematics) but I went with it all out of fear.

Until in my seventeenth year of life having been freed from the church going experience since the age of thirteen when I left my mother and moved in with my father I stumbled on a book in the library about the history of witches and paganism.  Being the bad ex-Christian I was at the time I stole this book, which later I lost never to be recovered–my first lesson in karma.  For the first time in my life the words I read caused a physical and emotional response that had no trace of fear.  There was only a feeling of peace as if lost in a foreign land I had suddenly stumbled on a map I could read and understand.  There was in fact a spiritual world that seemed to fit me.  Although I liked the idea of this particular spiritual path I didn’t start to seek any real training or learning until my mid twenties.  I found myself surrounded by other young people who were drawn to Wicca and paganism as I was, but I felt out of place.  These young people dressed in costume flirted with witchcraft but didn’t take it seriously.  They were like children playing dress up, reveling in shocking and disturbing the status quo with their outlandish and heathen behavior.  They were emotionally unstable, personally unreliable, and some even dangerously intrigued by the idea of wielding magic to gain power over others, involved in practices I found to be morally questionable.  I walked away from these people and their playacting disillusioned and disgusted.  If this was Wicca I wanted no part of it.

Don’t get me wrong I still considered myself a Pagan.  I wouldn’t be running back into the arms of Christianity any time soon, but finding no community in which to grow, learn, and practice with that I could trust or even consider real I simply stuck to the central guidelines and forgot about pursuing any deeper commitment to the craft.  I rarely performed any type of ritual, I did not continue my studies, and I avoided most so called witches like the plague being completely disinterested in any drama or Hollywood type practices.  Most of the people I came into contact with became interested in magic because of a movie they’d seen expecting to find a magical outlet that would gift them with some sort of power they could wield over others.  Hogwash.  There is no power to be had over another only the power to enrich and expand oneself.  Those who seek to control, influence, or even “help” others without their consent are in my mind very dangerous and misguided individuals.

For the next ten plus years I existed in spiritual limbo.  I battled (mostly unsuccessfully) my chronic depression, wore my anger and cynicism like a suit of armor, used my humor and indifference as my weapons of choice, and generally just drifted through my life without really ever showing up to the event.  I was deeply sad as if in a state of constant mourning.  I felt completely disconnected from others and myself.  In the distance beyond the fog and shadows in my brain I heard a faint call.  So faint I decided it must surely be my imagination.

god_blast

Imagine my surprise when the call began to get stronger, louder, and more insistent.  It was the same voice that spoke to me all those years ago at the tender age of seventeen.  The same invitation to leave my state of spiritual limbo and show up to life alive, in color, and present.  An invitation to come home only this time my Goddess sent me true guides in the shape of friends.  And so now approaching my fortieth year on this earth I resume a journey long ago abandoned, I exchange my armor of anger and cynicism for a warm cloak big enough to share with fellow travelers.  I keep my humor but turn in my indifference and select instead an open heart in which to house my many souvenirs, and set out to join the dance of life with childlike abandon and wonder, trusting that this time faith will sustain and inspire me instead of chain and punish me.  And I know I am truly blessed to have this time to continue my journey.

Them Darned False Prophets!

Religious Prophets.


Family Radio’s Harold Camping, famous for his failed May 21, 2011 prediction, has been rushed to the hospital following a stroke. The Oakland Tribune wrote:

ALAMEDA — Harold Camping, the Doomsday radio preacher who sparked international media attention by predicting the end of the world last month, has been hospitalized after suffering a stroke at his Alameda home Thursday night.

The 89-year-old radio evangelist and president of the Oakland nonprofit Family Radio was taken by ambulance from his house Thursday night, a neighbor said, but his well-known, gravelly voice that led many believers to donate millions of dollars to his cause may never be the same.


 

 

Well, if we could have only got lucky enough for old Herbie to have been silenced when the first date he set failed to come to fruition!  But as we know, the old goat was not the first heretic when it came to religious charlatans. From some recent headlines we learn of other profit$ of doom.

Taiwanese ‘prophet’ may be sued over doomsday rumors.

Nantou County police, in central Taiwan, Thursday (May 12) moved to question ‘Teacher Wang’ who recently made a doomsday forecast on charges of spreading rumours that incited people to panic.

Teacher Wang, whose real name is Wang Chao-hung and a resident of Nantou County, foretold that a magnitude 14 quake and massive tsunami would devastate Taiwan on May 11, at 10:42:37am.

To prepare for the looming disaster, some of Wang’s followers rented vacant lots in Puli Township of the county and filled them with nearly 200 containers that were converted into shelters. They stockpiled daily necessities for emergency use.

The doomsday gossip, which was circulated online, has caused some people to panic. But it proved the doomsday prophecy was groundless, and nothing happened on May 11.

The police said that Wang may be detained for a maximum of three days or fined NT$30,000(US$1,000) for violating the Social Order Maintaining Act by spreading groundless doomsday rumours.

There are others.

Ex-doomsday followers fight for money back.

One of two civil claims brought against religious group Agape Ministries may be settled out of court. That plaintiff and another former church member, Martin Penney, are suing pastor Rocco Leo and two of his associates, Joe Venziano and Mari-Antionette Veneziano.

They want their money back, claiming they handed over more than $400,000 and $1 million respectively to the church based on lies about a doomsday scenario.

Jack Van Impe.

I know less than nothing about this character but he does call into account some of the glum doomsayers and false prophets: Jack Van Impe on false prophets. (Right click and open in new tab, watch for one minute or so.)

Jack call this time of the end a “Happy Time” not a time of destruction and judgment that the Armstrong brand of prophets and apostles declare. So what is with this doom and coming gloom? Well it has always been with mankind since the times they could write on bone or bamboo. It persists to this day using electronic media in the form of TV or DVD and of course, the Internet.

All this bad news is now put forth by only religious nuts either. Secular sources put forth their dribble as to dooms day. It’s a magnet and is amazing how susceptible people are to believing this doom and gloom crap.


Secular Prophetic Scum.

“The Population Bomb”

Paul R. Ehrlich, author of the above title, 1968. Ehrlich argued that birthrates were out of control and would cause a worldwide crisis. He came to this conclusion not through Divine Revelation but through Divine Equation, the liberal scripture of pseudo-science. Ehrlich ‘calculated’ using the equation I = P x A x T. This means that Human Impact (I) on environment equals the product of Population, Affluence and Technology. The conclusion was that in the decades of the 1970’s hundreds of millions of people will starve to death. Did it happen? Was he called on it? Read more HERE. Ehrlich later stated he was kind of right. Read the link I gave. You’ll learn something of value as to understanding his thought process.

Kenneth Watt, ecologist, said there wouldn’t be any crude oil left by 2000.
Harrison Brown, at the National Academy of Sciences, said the world would be out of lead, zinc, copper, tin, gold and silver by this time.
Michael Oppenheimer, author of “Dead Heat” in the mid 90’s, predicted global warming in 20 years. Opphenheimer predicted that “1995, the greenhouse effect would be desolating the heartlands of North America and Eurasia with horrific drought, causing crop failures and food riots . . . [By 1996] The Platte River of Nebraska would be dry, while a continent-wide black blizzard of prairie topsoil will stop traffic on interstates, strip paint from houses and shut down computers.” Despite the fact that “data from NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center shows that precipitation-rain and snow-has increased slightly over the century,” Oppenheimer has further said: “On the whole I would stand by these predictions-not predictions, scenarios-as having at least in a general way actually come true.” Just like Harold Camping and Herbert Armstrong!

But Wait, There’s More!

Dr. David Viner, senior research scientist at England’s climatic research unit of the University of East Anglia, said in 2000 that because of global warming, within just a few years “Children just aren’t going to know what snow is and flurries will be a very rare and exciting event.”

In the 70’s you could read in TIME or LIFE magazine that there would be no United States by the year 2000.

In the endgame there is nothing scientific about these predictions of failure for the human race. These “authorities” just make it up as they go along on their path of deceit and destruction.

To the current Armstrong member, you can ignore this current blog entry. Honesty and objective thinking is lost on you.

To those who have left the gulag of Armstrong-ism, let me ask you “why do you embrace the religion of scientific and/or political whores that puke forth heresies that entice you further down the road of another pseudo slavery?

Just who is it that you follow so blindly?

Wrecked Family. Part II

May 21, 2011
– Elderly Mother Missing After Former World Wide Church of God Member Brother Uproots Her From Nursing Home and Philadelphia Church of God Sister Influences Her.


Yet another serious blow to my family — My former WWCOG member & brother, who wrecked our family by joining WWCOG in the earlier 70s, (He claims to have left the cult several years ago), took advantage of growing tensions between me and my 85-year-old mother over my PCOG sister, and I believe uprooted my mother from a nursing home in PA near us, and transplanted her to TX, where he lives. I also suspect my PCOG sister, referenced in the tragic story posted on this website regarding how she ruined my niece’s future, influenced and encouraged my mother to leave us. If so, he has done this without my knowledge. I found out my mother was missing from a former neighbor who tried to get in contact with my mother. Her phone line in the nursing home has been disconnected.

Instead of supporting me in stopping my PCOG sister from hoodwinking my mother for all these years, my former WWCOG member brother made every effort to exploit a crack opening between me and my mother, he being well-versed in deceiving, as a former HWA devotee, and a family-wrecker (His son has two illegitimate daughters, one of which has a Muslim first name). He learned HWA’s techniques well. It wasn’t enough that he took advantage of the rift, and moved my mother to TX. Before leaving, he and/or my mother somehow made my wife and I out to be the bad daughter-in-law and son for trying to help my niece (who wanted to split from PCOG) and for refusing to be pacifists regarding PCOG, WWCOG and HWA. Several neighbors, co-workers, all relatives, and former friends snub us. The relatives who no longer speak to us include my homosexual cousin whose former partner ran for some city government position and was caught soliciting an undercover vice squad officer. Made the newspapers of course. The other relative had an abortion. They are passing judgment on us. Typical.

Before my mother went missing, over the last few months, I had cut down on the number of calls, visits, and emails to her because she would never address the issues I raised regarding my sister taking advantage of herself and the alleged abuse of my niece via PCOG and her PCOG parents. Indirectly, my mother supported PCOG by sending my PCOG sister money for birthdays and letting her use her credit card when she visited. My mother refused to pressure my sister to compensate my wife the $2000 she spent on protecting our niece after her parents abandoned her to the streets for refusing to participate in PCOG. When we took my niece to visit my mother at the nursing home to tell her what had happened to her while in PCOG, my mother just sat there, stony-faced, and insisted she (my niece) belonged back with her PCOG parents despite all troubles they and PCOG had caused her.

My mother yelled at me the last time I saw her, upset as she was, that we had given my niece shelter over the summer when she had no where else to go. My mother ended by saying that it was wrong of me to have blocked her (my mother) from going to TX a year ago (which wasn’t true), and that as soon as she got better (she had a colostomy) she was going to TX. This, I took, as a veiled threat for me to keep quiet about PCOG, WWCOG, and how their vile influence was destroying us as a family.

Backtracking a bit, it was a little over a year ago when my cousin and her husband left us a nasty voice message containing outright slander and defamation of character statements alluding to us mistreating my mother (It is my understand their son is in a cult, the Seventh Day Adventists?). I played the tape for my former WWCOG brother. He never called this relative to straighten out the slander. His WWCOG wife wouldn’t even listen to the tape. I played the tape for my mother. She called my cousin to tell her she had gotten it awrong, but my mother remained in contact with this relative. Someone influenced my cousin to leave such a nasty message, thus I backed off from visiting my mother, while I tried to figure out who was defaming us. Around this time, my mother started thinking about moving to TX, either on her own, or I suspected with my former WWCOG brother and PCOG sister’s prodding. At the very least, they certainly didn’t’ discourage her. A few months later, I spoke with my former WWCOG brother asking him if everything was OK with my mother. He said “yes.” Less than a week later, he calls to announce his son had another illegitimate child (my wife and I don’t have children, so I believe this was a dig), and that our mother was moving to TX, and “whether I had any questions.” I was upset because I feared for my mother’s safety, her having anything to do with my deceiver and former WWCOG member brother who split apart the family. My wife spoke with my mother, and said I was upset. My mother changed her plans, and stayed. I got back in contact with my mother, overlooking this incident, and my wife visited her almost everyday at the nursing home. I called and visited her too, as before. My wife helped her with figuring out how to manage her colostomy bag. My mother gave the nurses credit for this, not my wife.

It all really fell apart when my niece came last summer, fleeing from PCOG and er PCOG parents. That’s when the family imploded. My mother yelled at me for no justifiable reason. I backed off visiting her, as my visits were obviously upsetting her, and she continued to support my PCOG sister. My wife, being unable to understand why my mother defends a dangerous cult, and is hostile toward us, when it was us who have helped her, not taking advantage of her. My wife and I don’t understand why, after my niece told her what had happened to her via PCOG, my mother insists on burying her head in the sand. My mother places her age and health condition front and center as a reason to avoid confronting my sister and former WWCOG brother and their membership in a dangerous cult, choosing instead to tell relatives, and whoever, that it is my wife and I who are wrong.

I ask to be removed as “executor” of my mother’s will. I said I wanted no part of being involved as her agent in transferring any money to PCOG through any money my sister might inherit. Cult experts advise never give money to any family member who is in a cult such as PCOG or WWCOG. My mother disregards this advice to the detriment of her grand-children’s future and to the integrity of our family.

I told my brother the correct way to handle the executor was to have a third party be executor of the will, not a family member. My brother refused to support me on this idea, and now is the executor of her will. My former WWCOG brother recently said he’d met a lot of “nice people” in WWCOG. We can only imagine his motivations of refusing to back the idea of assigning a third party, non-family member her estate executor.

My former WWCOG brother has smeared my efforts to support my mother and father all my life, when it was he and my sister who destroyed the family after he joined WWCOG. He never devoted his life in protecting his parents as I had, and therefore doesn’t believe I would. People accuse others of the crimes they themselves are guilty of. He took advantage of my mother’s growing confusion. Instead of clarifying reality, he and his WWCOG wife remain silent all throughout my struggles with my mother and PCOG sister duping my mother (She uses various health scares to gain my mother’s empathy).

My former WWCOG brother and PCOG sister make subtle, derogatory remarks about my deceased father, who objected to their membership in the WWCOG cult. My sister even posted derogatory poems on the internet about both her father (after he died) and mother. My father was a good man of character, wanting only the best for his children, and this is the way he was treated in life and after death?

My brother, after having never visited the family for but about 5 days a year since he joined WWCOG in the early 70s, (he called his parents less than a dozen times a year), exhibited greed when it came to emptying the contents of their house, in typical Armstrong fashion. He asked for half a train collection, ridiculing me for wanting to hold onto the collection, since it was me, not him, who as a youth, spent a lot of time with these trains building layouts, instead of holing myself up in my room listening to the likes of Gardner Ted Armstrong (Teddy the Fornicator), and incest committing Herbert Armstrong. He never once touched the train collection. It was with great effort that I had to convince my mother that giving him half the train collection was a mistake. She also wanted to give him half a book collection of classic books he’d never read, instead choosing to poke his nose in incest committing Herbert Armstrong’s “The Plain Truth,” “Mystery of the Ages,” and “End Times.”

When my mother had a colon resection about nine months ago, I rushed to the emergency room. I was just about to round the curtained-off area where she was when I heard her tell the emergency room people that she has family living nearby, but they (meaning my wife and I) don’t contact her. This is after my wife spent most of her lunch hours visiting my mother in the nursing home, helping her. My mother would rather throw us under the bus than have her former WWCOG son and PCOG member daughter exposed for destroying our family, among other transgressions.

So you can see by the example of our family’s history that the suffering, thanks to WWCOG and incest committing HWA, continues to escalate. These creeps and dangerous cults continue to destroy every shred that is left of our once hopeful and promising family.

Today, I’m not even sure where my mother is. My wife is very sick. She has to go to work every day in a lot of pain from a nerve problem that has caused frozen shoulder syndrome. I am told by a PCOG cult expert to be very careful, as some of its members could be “killers, ” as one “former member” has contacted us, claiming to offer help, but is elusive about who he is, and asked for our phone number twice. My wife and I live in fear of our lives while my relatives, former friends and some neighbors embark on a campaign of defamation of character, thanks to the misinformation or incomplete information my WWCOG brother, PCOG sister are probably spreading to throw smoke and mirrors over what they’ve done to destroy us. We want to know where my elderly mother is and whether she’s being abused, financially or otherwise. We want to know where my niece is and whether we can still help her pursue her dream of going to medical school.