2017: Helpful Hints for Setting Achievable Resolutions

Forget the Days of Unleavened Bread for setting new goals for the new year! For one thing, if you’re planning to change your life after the Passover, you’re just procrastinating. Start the New Year right in 2017 and start now! Don’t put it off! It’s just nasty human nature for you to keep putting it off.

Just remember that even a little progress is progress!

Here at The Painful Truth we have some New Year’s Resolutions (which look a lot like last year’s resolutions, but why mess with success?): Post more watchdog articles (thanks Wes White!), make the Armstrongist 1% even more uncomfortable, get Armstrongists to ignore us more actively because they are so uncomfortable with the truth we are persecuting them with, demand more accountability for Armstrongist 1%ers and occasionally expose some more misdeeds and make certain (you know who you are) people become very angry so they’ll make even more BIG very stupid mistakes! While we keep hoping that the evil aggressive belligerent predatory Criminal Minds type narcissists will repent, we have the Resolution that if they don’t we’ll be satisfied because that was what we expected all along after all — it’s who they are and our job is to expose them, not to transform them.

Of course, you won’t be able to set and keep your resolutions alone, so we’ve engaged our good friend Thomas Sanders to get you where you need to be and get up to speed in good order:

Of course, looking ahead to what they’re going to do in 2017 means something entirely different for the good folks over at Science News:

Show disrespect and we will torture you with science!

It was our resolution to torture Armstrongists with science.

What’s CRISPR again???!!!

Resolution 1 accomplished!