Herbert Armstrong, Science Fiction Writer
Herbert Armstrong, Music

Who can forget the senior banquet hosted by Herbert Armstrong for the Ambassador College Seniors? Before graduation, he wanted to expose the AC students to culture, replete with gold and silver place settings and fine crystal, accompanied later in the evening by Herbert Armstrong himself playing the piano — nocturne in e flat major op. 9 no. 2 by Frederic Chopin, was it? Everyone who saw the video at the Feast was so impressed. We were all impressed, that is, until we learned that Ross Jutsum ‘sweetened’ the playing by, well, playing the piece. It was just another one of those situations where Herbert Armstrong cheated. You know, like claiming to obey the Ten Commandments while committing incest with his daughter, being a chancellor of a college when he hadn’t even finished high school, paying 9.75 of his income as a tithe and having a donut and cup of coffee on the Day of Atonement while 95 year old widow ladies fasted and went without. It just seemed he had to cheat and ‘fudge’ everything and even got coconspirators to participate with him.

Herbert Armstrong was high on music — he said repeatedly that it had to be ‘melodic’, which, if you think about it, pretty much defines what music is. He liked to play ragtime on the piano in his youth and was fond of most classical music (except for that demon inspired stuff, like “Let me come in, let me come in!”). Yes, Ambassador College was a real classic and even had rather famous people come play in the Auditorium. He brought refinement to the community. Well, it was Pasadena, so what can we say? Have you seen downtown?

We’re not certain that the Worldwide Church of God membership really caught on, particularly during the days of Garner Ted Armstrong appearing on Hee-Haw and what with the popularity of Bluegrass in the Southern States. We’re not sure that the members really appreciated the finer aspects of culture in their life, but that may be because they had to give so much of their livelihood in tithes, offerings, building fund and Herbert Armstrong induced emergencies when he overspent in his manic mode… or perhaps drunken alcoholic sot, three sheets to the wind mode.

It’s time, of course to reach back in time and bring Armstrongists and former Armstrongists back up to speed by presenting a video about the history of classical music (unfortunately missing one of the most famous composers, P.D.Q. Bach):

You are now cultured.

Stay humble.