At Auction: Deer heads, shot by Garner Ted Armstrong using our tithe money
At Auction: Deer heads, shot by Garner Ted Armstrong using our tithe money

By the time you read this, The Beard Auction at the Cherokee County Showbarn at 611 SE Loop 456, Jacksonville, Texas, selling off remnants of the possessions of Garner Ted Armstrong will have already started — in fact it may be over with. It’s being held today on the Sabbath, naturally. Some faithful and loyal Armstrongists may consider it an ox in the ditch situation. You never know when GTA’s hunting rifles will be necessary to shoot the ox, or, if you are lucky, a nice deer. There are miscellaneous picked over items left as an eclectic array of examples of the tastes of a former He-Haw entertainer. Think country and western. Mostly.

We wonder who’s going to get the money.

This is not the focus of this post. We want you to consider the Garner Ted Armstrong Evangelistic Association website. Don’t these people know that Garner Ted Armstrong is, like, dead? After all, the WCG scurried around to find new presenters for the World Tomorrow Telecast after Herbert Armstrong died, because they thought it would be weird and creepy to continue with a dead host. Apparently, they never saw reruns of Alfred Hitchcock Presents or Rod Serling opening The Twilight Zone.

Nevertheless, don’t you think that having a whole evangelistic website featuring Garner Ted Armstrong as if he was still alive and active more than a little bit weird and creepy? Like, they’re selling off the remnant of his stuff today. He’s history. His prophecies failed. His alcoholic boozing, womanizing and gambling are over with. What’s with the hero worship?

There’s nothing like living in the past, especially if you’re talking about a celebrity [of sorts]. The WCG was a personality cult, after all. It only benefited the ‘stock holders’, though as is obvious from looking at the auction items. We paid for all that stuff, just like we paid for Herbert Armstrong’s divorce to the tune of $5 million — after he had written “How to Have a Happy Marriage”.

The question is, at what point do people accept the facts and move on with their lives?

Or do they have to live in the past, reliving the glories which never were until they die and their stuff is auctioned off?