Tag: Herbert W. Armstrong

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The Fourth Book Of John

(or: The Sex ACTS of the Apostle)
by John B

Caution!! This page is “R” Rated
(Just like the Bible)
Do not read any further if you are offended with street language.
Remember Waterhouse saying that there would be
additions to the Book of Acts? Well, here is a start

 Chapter 1

1. Brethren, I would not have you be ignorant of the travails of the end time, for it came to pass in those days that a child was born, of Quaker stock (which is not to say, chicken stock).

2. And his name was called Herbert (for he had no W), and would be a strong-arm man.  He was filled with vanity, exceedingly so, and consumed with lust.  He desired much lucre, and power, and women (but lo he was ugly).

3. Young Herbert pursued many adventures, so many that no man can know, nor can any man understand, for he was filled with a lying spirit.

4. When he came of age he labored in an occupation, which is to say advertising, for his talent as a liar was much admired.  He was betrothed to Loma, who did not know him, nor what she was getting into.

5. But famine spread across the land, called the Great Depression, and Herbert became destitute.  Loma gave birth to Richard (who was called Dick), and Ted (who was obsessed with his dick), and two girl-children. 

6. And Herbert had a vision, of a great golden mansion, a house with many rooms, and at his feet a pile of gold, and silver, and Steuben, and onyx, and all manner of cash.  And the angel said unto him,

7. Get thee up, Herbert, and go forth, and preach, and all these things shall be yours.  And Herbert said, Lo!  Goddamn, why did I not think of that before?

8. And he girded up his loins, and went forth, and preached.

 

 

 Chapter 2

 1. In those days the land was covered with darkness, for all women were exceedingly oppressed, and there was no judge to hear their cry. 

2. And it came to pass in the second year of his ministry, that Herbert fell upon his daughter, the fruit of his loins, and lay with her.  And fucked her.  And no man raised a cry, for they said, Truly, this is a man of God.

3. But Loma knew, yet Herbert did not heed, and continued for ten years.  And his daughter was sorely vexed.

4. But Herbert preached the Sabbath, and the holy days, and baptized many.  But he faced much opposition, for the prophets of the church of God (called 7th Day) murmured among themselves, saying, See, he thinks his calling is higher than ours.

5. And they were right.  But Herbert cared not, and divided them, and tore asunder that which they had labored to build, drawing many to follow him.  And the church of God (called 7th Day) was in a shambles.

6. But when the word was spread abroad that Herbert had fucked his daughter, he fled to a far province, called California, and his family followed.  And he cursed the church of God (called 7th Day), and said, Behold, their works are dead!  Follow me.  And he left behind deacons, to collect the tithes, but the deacons said among themselves, Verily, why should we give him these tithes?  See how he has abandoned the body of Christ.  And they kept the money for themselves.

7. And Herbert called them thieves.

8. There was war in the east, for a man called Adolf (who was also filled with lust and greed) said to himself, Surely I have a destiny to destroy the Jews.  And he made a great slaughter.

9. And Herbert admired him, and prophesied, saying, Surely this man shall triumph!  The end must be near.  And he made many prophecies, but none came to pass.

   

 Chapter 3 

1. In the ten and third year of his ministry, Herbert discovered a great city, called Pasadena (which in the Hebrew tongue means nothing), and in it were many great mansions on a street called Orange Grove.  And Herbert’s eyes were filled with lust.

2. And he acquired a mansion (for he was a great con man, and a liar), and built a college, which he called Ambassador.  And he preached a new doctrine, for his prophecies concerning the war did not come to pass, yet he still admired Adolf, and emulated him in all things.

3. And he started with four students, including Herman, who was called Ho, and was truly a ho.  And the college started small, like a grain of mustard seed, and flourished.

4. And more students came, and Herbert acquired another mansion, and another mansion, and he preached continually, proclaiming himself as God’s only true prophet.  And many heeded his voice, and the lucre began to accumulate.

5. And Herman, who was called Ho, and was truly a ho, and also admired Adolf (and was of the same race as Adolf, and was exceedingly proud), began to call himself a historian, and a scholar, but he was neither. 

6. Among the students came another, called Rod, of the house of Merrydeath, who some said was sly.  And Rod became obsessed with his rod, and considered the matter.  And when he was ordained, he preached about the rod of iron, and all other rods, and condemned queers exceedingly.

7. And the church of God (called Radio) began to spread, like a vine, until it encompassed the whole land.  And many believed, and gave all in tithes and offerings, and many were sore vexed, and many died.

8. And Herbert’s son Dick was sent into all the land, to witness, and to raise up new congregations, and he raised up many. 

9. Herbert sent forth many epistles, called coworker epistles, and the work continued to grow.  And Herbert was well fed, but he was not contented.

10. In the twenty and second year of his ministry, Herbert received a messenger, a bearer of bad news, and Herbert was grieved, for his son Dick was dead.  The chariot upon which Dick had ridden had struck another chariot, because the charioteer was a man called Billingsley, who was a wimp and a fool.

11. And Herbert prayed, crying with a loud voice, and said, Hear me O Lord, thou hast given me this son, as thou gavest Isaac to Abraham.  Now raise him up again to life, that he may follow in my path.

12. But God said from his throne, Fuck off, little man.

13. And Dick was still dead.

 

 

 Chapter 4

 1. And the word was spread abroad, unto all nations, and all languages, so that the church of God (called Radio) became increased in gold and silver and treasures.

2. And the ministers went among the flock, fleecing them, preaching that which seemed good unto them, for there was no law in America to prevent them, thanks to the separation of church and state.

3. And many thousands heeded the call, and gave, and attended local congregations, and gave, and prayed, and gave, and served, and gave.  And the giving came from all nations, for the voice of Herbert was heard in all lands, and he preached fear and destruction and obedience, and a great terror filled the hearts of those who heard his cry, and did believe.

4. And Herbert published his ministry in many media, which is to say the World Tomorrow, the Plain Truth, and many tablets called booklets.  Many believed, and certainly they trembled.

5. Herbert ruled as a king, from his throne, and when the talents waned he sent out more epistles, mouthing threats, and more talents were received.  But he was not content.

6. In the thirty and third year of Herbert’s ministry, Loma suffered a great affliction, because she could not shit.  Herbert drove away the physicians, and anointed her, but she was not healed.  And she lingered near death for many days, and still she could not shit, and her spirit left her.

7. And Herbert mourned her with a great mourning for part of a day, and then said to his son Ted, How soon do you think I can marry again?  And Ted was astonied.

 

 

 Chapter 5

 1. Herbert began to travel abroad, to consort with kings and princes of all lands.  For he said, Verily, I must fulfill the commission to preach the gospel unto every soul.

2. And he surrounded himself with thieves, and liars, and scoundrels of every sort.  One was called Raider (which in the tongue of the elect means one who raids), who was a thief, and did not believe, but was an opportunist. 

3. And Raider traveled with Herbert, and consumed the tithes.  Their travels cost many talents, and spread across the earth, into every land, and they witnessed many wonders.  And there were whores, and concubines, and sluts of every kind, and no thing they desired was withheld from them.

4. In a far land of the east Herbert found himself a concubine, of the land of the Filipinos, and desired that she return with him to Pasadena, where he lavished upon her very expensive gifts, and spent many hours in her bed. 

5. But the brethren knew nothing of it.

6. And during the wanderings of Herbert his son Ted looked about and said unto himself, Am I not the equal of my father?  Am I not more youthful and more becoming?  And he began to usurp his father’s throne, and to take command.  He gazed upon the maidens in the college called Ambassador, and did lust after them.

7. And he did fuck many, and also the wives of many ministers.  And he was a hypocrite. 

8. Alas, the word did spread, about Ted, that he did fuck many maidens, and wives of many ministers, and Herbert was called home.  And he was wroth.  But as the prophet Jeremy could have said, but did not, blood runneth thicker than water, and Herbert did protect Ted, and assuaged him, and sent him into the wilderness of Montana to repent, whereupon Ted enjoyed a blessed vacation, and did hunt and killed many deer and moose.

9. And the council of elders took exception to Raider, and complained to Herbert.  But Herbert rebuked them, and made his jowls shake with a great shaking, and did squeal like a pig.  And he said unto them, You want me to send him away because you like him not.  BUT I DO LIKE HIM!  And the ministers were stung, and fell silent.  And Raider continued to squander the tithes and consumed many talents upon his lusts.

  

 Chapter 6

 1. In those days Herbert was increased in years, but he did not cease in his travels.  He went forth and preached in many lands, saying, The world is sore troubled, and will surely perish, unless some great hand from somewhere should intervene.

2. But he preached not Christ, nor did he declare the way unto salvation, nor preached the gospel.  He went unto Jerusalem, and Egypt, and Gog, and Magog, and Egg Nog, lavishing upon them gifts, and cash, and receiving many whores, and became increased in vanity.

3. And it came to pass in those days that a man called Robinson did write a book, and a man called Tuit did file a suit, and the governor of the province called California did pay heed.  He sent forth magistrates, and deputies, and did seize the church (called Worldwide), and occupied it, and said, Lo, this man Herbert is a thief, and a liar, and a charlatan, and we must inquire of him as to how the talents are spent.

4. But the congregations rose up and rebelled, for they were told by the ministers that this was of Satan, and persecution, and they believed.  They resisted the magistrates and deputies, and cried aloud with a loud voice, and said, Free us O Lord!

5. And Mike Wallace came forth and communed with Raider, and noised it abroad.  And Raider was wroth, and fucked it up, and said unto Mike Wallace, Get thee out of the house of God, or I shall prevail upon the District Attorney, for thou art too close to the truth!

6. But there was a document in the land, called the Constitution, and it was the law in the land.  And it came to pass that many churches, and congregations, and cults did ally themselves with the Worldwide, and the governor of the province called California withdrew, and said, Behold, this cause is lost, and Herbert escaped justice.

7. But he was wroth, and squealed like a pig, and shook his jowls with a great shaking, and disfellowshipped many.  And began to preach about two trees, which meaning none could interpret, (for it had no meaning), and from that day forward did preach nothing else, for he had nothing else to preach.  And he put the church back on the track, which is to say, back in the hole.

8. In the sixty and second year of his ministry, when he was ninety and three years of age, Herbert did finally die.  And he was unrepentant of his deeds, and very proud and exceedingly filled with vanity. 

9. And there were many more acts of this apostle which have not been told, but truly, are they not written down in the web site called The Painful Truth?  Amen.

Source.

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The Tomorrow That Never Came

Blast from the past…

 

by Joseph
Herbert W. Armstrong (HWA), founder of the Worldwide Church of God (Worldwide Church of God), was heard by millions over TV and radio for almost fifty years. He proclaimed, with the special insight he felt God granted only him, the gospel through the World Tomorrow broadcast. Obsessed on the trappings of wealth and power, he reined supreme over a largely blue collar and spiritually disenfranchised group strangely attracted to this megalomaniac mission to carry out “an end-time work.”

The gospel of Herbert W. Armstrong was hard to define because it was ever-changing and never compiled into a written statement of doctrine (when it was tried in the 1970s by his son, it was considered the work of Satan). To point out all the heretical doctrines and inconsistencies would fill volumes. Essentially, it was this: extreme legalism. The Worldwide Church of God lexicon was filled with official and unofficial legalistic restraint: no jury duty, no taking of oaths, no voting (our allegiance was not to this world), no mixed racial dating or marriages, no college (except the church’s Ambassador College, of course – its God’s college), no makeup (it’s for whores), no dating outside the church, no divorce (the remarried had to split up for many years), no military service, almost no doctors (broken bones were OK), almost no medicine, no vaccinations, no birth control pills (they were medicine), no TV or radio on the Sabbath (news was OK-it was watching end-time events) no smoking, no pork or pork ingredients of any kind, white sugar or bread was discouraged (forbidden by some ministers), honey was the food of choice – it had healing powers, no long hair or sideburns on men, no wearing anything fashionable (fashion was dictated by “queers”) on men, and the supreme no; no questions. Alcohol, however, was encouraged as long as you could remember what you were not supposed to do and money was not diverted from three tithes and seven or more annual offerings, with special offerings for dire circumstances (which arose regularly).

The end result was broken and isolated families, needless suffering from denial of medical care, and mental anguish of a generation of youths who could never measure up in a performance based religious system. Fortunately, the tomorrow Herbert W. Armstrong promised to millions began to die the day he did.

In the decade following his death in 1986, the emperor was gradually shown by rebellious heirs to have no clothes; he was slowly exposed by those who grew up inside the system since birth. To those remnant faithful who would not expose the lie for themselves for fear of the answer, it was a rude awakening to realize that Herbert W. Armstrong’s vision of the wonderful world tomorrow was nothing more than eclectic musings of a high school dropout who failed in his first career of advertising, but succeeded gloriously in controlling the lives of his followers through an authoritarian grip. If he was honestly self-deluded in thinking the purpose of man was to become one of many Gods and his mission was to single-handedly warn the world of impending nuclear Armageddon lest they repent and follow God through his church; or if he was a manipulative, deviant, evil person bent on mind control of his “sheep” is a moot point. The damage was done and today, generations of followers lay in the rubble of his cult theology. I am one of them.

Thirty-four of my thirty-seven years were spent under the delusion that the Worldwide Church of God was the only acceptable path to God and the fear of losing out on eternal life if I violated its tenants. I was robbed of being a normal American kid doing the little things that enrich mainstream childhood’s: Friday night football games, Christmas with relatives, dating girls outside “the church,” birthday parties, Valentines Day, being accepted at school because I was very different due to a weird religion. I simply accepted it without question because my grandparents and family believed it, therefore it must be so. Any alternative to God’s true church was not even thought of; that was just the way things were.

PART I:
A Worldwide Church of God Portrait
My grandfather was “called into the work” in 1959, my mother followed in 1962. My Dad, who God was not “dealing with at that time,” never said much about the Church at all. As a preschooler, I would follow mom around the house while she made the beds listening to Herbert W. Armstrong proclaim the Wonderful World Tomorrow over the intercom system (it was then the Radio Church of God). Starch-suited ministers in their early twenties would drop by once a month, often unannounced, to see if members were living according to God’s laws (like avoiding doctors and white sugar) and to answer any bible questions that arose. My mother was always tense and anxious during these sessions because she did not have any questions; she was perfect for the Worldwide Church of God, she didn’t think and followed blindly.

As a child, I was told in church sermons and through publications I was required to read that in the coming tribulation, children would be taken from their parents by the Germans (leaders of an emerging beast power in Europe) and we would watch mom and dad swing from meat hooks for following God through Herbert W. Armstrong if they were not obedient enough to God to escape. The decadent, godless USA would be a wasteland by the tens nations of Europe led by the nasty Germans. My classmates would be nuked and my school vaporized. It scared the hell out of me (except for the destruction of the school, which was kinda neat). I would never attend high school, never marry and never have to worry about mortgage payments because Christ would return and make the world one big Ambassador College campus (the church school) with church members as the professors of righteousness. This would all happen by 1975, the late fifties church booklet 1975 in Prophecy extolled, unless the U.S. and Great Britain woke up, repented and modeled themselves on the Worldwide Church of God paradigm.

Luckily, we members were the chosen ones that would escape the horrors of Armageddon if, and only if, we qualified by demonstrating obedience to God. We alone, through Herbert W. Armstrong, knew the keys to prophecy because God has called us, the weak (i.e., losers) from this world to confound the wise. HWA revealed that time was not to be wasted on converting anyone -the unconverted were not lost – they would come to spiritual understanding at a later date since they would be humbled via the Germans and the Beast power (The United States of Europe). Most would then realize that their evil ways, like keeping Christmas or birthdays or eating pork was actually worshipping Satan, not God. Our job as members was to pray and pay with three tithes on our income so that others would remember when the goose-stepping thugs reached their door and we were safe in caves in Petra waiting for Christ and living a squeaky clean obedient life that Herbert W. Armstrong had warned them. Of course, they weren’t going to listen, but it was his duty to provide the warning because that was the mission of “the work.” He didn’t want to do it, but God called him and he was fearful of turning his back on a divine mission. So he was forced to live in opulence – like having a private jet, a collection of artwork and jewels – and flying around the world giving gifts and church money to world leaders like Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos for a five minute photo opportunity. High living was a requirement of a twentieth century apostle; world leaders would not take an average guy seriously. Obviously, HWA was simply a victim of the wealth God required of him.

Despite the admonishment not to worry over converting our neighbors like those crazy Jehovah’s Witnesses, tens of millions a year were spent each year on radio and TV time to warn of a pending nuclear war – the end times- and protection for those who qualified for God’s soon coming kingdom through obedience to clearly defined regulations ranging from hair length to approved sexual positions. Money was proudly never asked for publicly; that is what churches of this world did. The rank and file supported Herbert’s arms, like Moses, with cash to proclaim the gospel with their tithes. Members may be losers of the world, but spiritual winners were made by humble, unquestioned obedience to the local minister and realizing one cannot out give God (e.g., give all your money). To give your money was an honor not afforded most of the world at this time.

Obedience did have its rewards. By sweeping the floor of the rented hall and setting up chairs, one might become noticed and obtain the rank of Deacon. In the early sixties, this meant the ability to wear black armbands with D*E*A*C*O*N spelled in white letters to announce your position. Since relatives were distanced by membership in the church and socializing with the unconverted was frowned upon, the church was usually a member’s total social life. Of course, if one was never a Spokesman Club president, worry not. The real prizes were waiting in the hereafter: a king or priest in the wonderful world tomorrow. As first fruits, the obedient Worldwide Church of God faithful would get the first tier of spiritual prizes to be doled out to those who met the requirements (a city, a country, or even a plant in the wonderful world tomorrow). Of course, avoidance of agonizing death with meat hooks at the hands of the Germans should have been reward enough.

The fact that relatives and coworkers thought you were a religious nut was proof they were not “called” and God had not opened their eyes to understand the constantly changing “new truth” God revealed to Herbert W. Armstrong. New truth was defined as when he changed his mind about something – such as if women should wear makeup – that it was simply God revealing new understanding. Sometimes, the new truth was revealed to him to be not as true as originally thought and the old truth was revealed to be truer than the new truth and it was then the new truth was actually the old truth. If this was confusing, it was proof of being unconverted or having a problem with church government. The fact he was willing to change all the time was proof that God was leading him and he was not deceived like all the other ministries who taught one thing and stuck to it. It was all quite plain when he explained it; hence the name of the magazine, The Plain Truth, which had upwards of six million copies given away each month (if you count the illiterate African tribesmen who used it for insulation for the village huts and giveaway copies at supermarkets). HWA, in turn, revealed these truths to us via “the broadcast,” the Plain Truth magazine and countless coworker letters reminding of God’s wrath on those who robbed him of multiple tithes and offerings to carry out the work. The truth was indeed plain, if we just looked into the bible and read what it said for our self with a little help from Herbert W. Armstrong; God was reproducing himself through creating man and we were destined to be part of the God family. If we qualified, all would become God as God is God, only some Gods would be greater than others depending on our earthly performance and when we joined the line. First come, first served. All Gods are equal, just that some would be more equal than others, so work hard for a free gift of eternal life. George Orwell would be proud of the plain truth.

God’s pyramid system of government was key to up-righting the moral decay of this not so a wonderful world of today. The church chain of command was very militaristic despite the ban on military service. God was first, then Christ was head of the Church, who was head of HWA, who was head of the evangelists, who was head of ministers, who was head of deacons, who was head of husbands, who was head of wives, who was head of children. At the bottom of the ladder were the children, who were mirrors of the spiritual health of the family. Child rearing was the way to display to one’s spiritual conversion.

A typical Worldwide Church of God dad, in an ill-fitting polyester suit (the only one he owned), briskly walked into services each Sabbath with vinyl briefcase full of bibles in hand, ready to begin fellowshipping with the other brief casing men. Mom, loaded down with pallets and kids hanging off each arm, trailed behind. Kids sat almost motionless beside the parents during the two-hour church service. If children were emotionless robots who obeyed through sheer terror, dad must be doing it God’s way. He was a Godly man. Mom did the actual correction under dad’s direction, taking the kids in and out of services while dad sat taking copious notes on top of the briefcase sitting on his lap. He used to tape record every sermon until it was discovered tapes could be used by Satan to attack the church for what it said. Dad would intervene only if mom let the situation get out of control, with a glaring eye toward the kids and to mom for letting it happen. She would immediately leave for the mothers room with kids in tow. Dad would straighten both out later.

Kids, we were told, were innately carnal and by destroying anything resembling personality through generous corporal punishment for even little offenses, God’s holy character would be instilled by Dad and peace and harmony abounds. Life would mimic the scene depicted on the church seal, kids would play with lions and everybody would eat unprocessed foods. Happy. Happy. Happy. Mom had a little more leeway than the kids, but not much. Help meets were there to help dad, who knew how to govern God’s way. Hippies were ample evidence that the world was doing it all wrong and society was going to hell in a handbasket. An unchecked carnal kid was a sure bet to graduate to hippiedom and may cost dearly in the upcoming white throne judgment. A good kid, might, upon recommendation of the minister, be accepted to Ambassador, God’s Westpoint, and emerge part of the minister class or wife of a minister. At least, they would return to the local church area to give sermonettes and struggle during the week at a lousy sales job (sales were the usual avenues for a BS graduate in theology).

Children were not the only way to display spirituality, and health was another. Doctors and medicine were taboo until the 1970s, when lawsuits caused the church to make unspoken rules rather than church dogma. Processed foods were out, but natural foods were in. Booklets like the Seven Laws of Radiant Health (written by the medical expert: a man with a doctorate from Ambassador) promoted things like the exposure to the sun’s ultraviolet rays were highly beneficial. Vaccinations were discouraged, God, not man would protect those who placed their faith in him. State law said differently and my mother, under the council of knowledgeable church members, rubbed lemon juice over my polio vaccination in the parking lot of the doctor’s office to counteract the effect of the medicine. Operations other than setting broken bones were demonstrating a lack of faith in God. Illness was also the result of sin in some way. There was spiritual sin and physical sin; disease was physical sin. If you were sick, God would heal without doctors if the proper faith was present and for those who were weak, go ahead and submit to the evils of modern medicine. Combining the two: making your sick children follow God by choosing not to place your faith in doctors was the biggest demonstration of faith. If the child died, and many did, it was the result of a lack of faith on the parents or the other church members as a whole because it was their job for collective prayer.

Race relations were also clearly understood by Herbert W. Armstrong. God was the creator of the races and separate was the way they were created. In the wonderful world tomorrow, the races would be separated again to live happy on their very own continent. In the meanwhile, dating someone of another race was verboten. In the early to mid sixties, congregations had roped-off sections for the blacks, presumably to make sure that intermixing was at a minimum and providing practice for ruling in the world tomorrow.

The annual Feast of Tabernacles in Big Sandy, Texas during the 1960s was the perfect example of a proving ground for the world tomorrow. Ten thousand people camped for eight days. Old station wagons loaded with kids, tents, liquor and ubiquitous brief cases. Here, God did things orderly and orderly it was. Men who held no power in the world were given titles for a week, creating hundreds of little Hilters doing it Gods way. Captain of a Thousand. Captain of a Hundred. The Captain of Ten. Each had a nicely lettered sign above his campsite telling the world of his power over men despite a loser status in the world headed by Satan. Decisions of Solomaic proportions were made; who swept the dirt streets each day, policing the campgrounds, making sure lights were off at ten and keeping track of anyone who stayed in their tent during the seventeen two-hour services held over the eight days. Ordinary rank and file men watched the leader captains and returned to their homes practicing God’s government on wives, children and pets after each feast. This would prepare them to rule in the world tomorrow as part of the God Family and maybe earn a planet to call their own!

This is only a brief glimpse, the tip of the iceberg of the Worldwide Church of God experience and mind set. Doctrine, policy and customs of the Worldwide Church of God were erratic and unwritten, which makes describing it extremely difficult. Each person that grew up in the Worldwide Church of God has memories and experiences, large and small, that formed a spiritual concept of themselves and their relationship with God. However, the effect the legalism had on shaping the core identity of a person is profound and concrete.

PART II
How the Worldwide Church of God Affected Me
Naturally, with this world view, I never fit in socially with people outside the church. Herbert W. Armstrong told us that we were unequally yoked with the world, when in fact, we were just simply weird.

The very things that set me apart from “the world” were both a source of embarrassment and a badge of honor: conviction of the Worldwide Church of God as the one true church, unwavering Sabbath attendance in meeting halls that ranged from dance halls to Masonic Lodges (why build churches when the end is nigh?), faithful viewing “the broadcast,” reading all church publications, God’s annual holy days in lieu of pagan holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc.), being among the select to escape the coming tribulation and nuclear destruction of “unconverted” mankind in the end times, fleeing to a “place of safety” in 1972 (to avoid the meat hooks) and the return of Christ in the 1975. The biggest enlightenment was my understanding of the plan of God; that God was calling first fruits (us Worldwide Church of Goders) to qualify for his soon coming Kingdom by overcoming our human nature in this life. I repeatedly tried and failed on all accounts (apparently others did too because that is why Christ did not return in 1975- Herbert W. Armstrong said the church was not ready – it was our fault).

I did all the things a good Worldwide Church of God member was supposed to do: one year of Ambassador College (I quit only because they closed it in 1978), bought Envoys (the AC yearbook) every year and placed on a coffee table even though I knew no one there, married within the church, became a Spokesman’s Club graduate (a Worldwide Church of God version of Toastmasters), meticulous tithing (often 30% of gross income) and offerings, and generous helping of self-loathing at Passover. I was a quintessential Worldwide Church of God “Christian.” I was taught to look down upon those that were not called in benevolent pity. But inside, I knew I was a fake because I didn’t get it like everyone else around me. Cognitive dissonance arose from being told eternal life is a free gift from God but we must “make it” through obedience to a rigid set of laws derived from a Worldwide Church of God interpretation of scripture. I tried and tried to obey and constantly failed. I finally gave up trying because God could not continue to forgive someone who did not grow in grace and knowledge and because he did not bear fruit like those who did obey. The obedient were seemingly all around me in the Worldwide Church of God. If I obeyed, God would bless. If bad things happened, it was a test of faith by Satan. God punishes the ones he loves, therefore if bad things happen, I was blessed by God. But the fact that it was happening showed there was a weakness or a lack of faith. It all came down to me; the system seemingly worked and I was the problem or so I thought.

There were answers for everything as long as you did not look too deeply. I knew them all and every world event fit nicely into God’s end time plan, just as Herbert W. Armstrong had discovered in growing in grace and knowledge of new truth. Smug superiority resulted from knowing “the truth,” yet fear from knowing I never measured up to the standards everyone else did with apparent ease. I lived in comfortable misery knowing all the answers and realizing I was never worthy of the prize because I was a fake, a person who had been given the gift, but would die for eternity because he would never “overcome” personal battles with sin out of a lack of faith.

Fate dealt me a double punch. My personal and religious world came apart at the same time in 1993. A diagnosis of cancer shattered my world at the same time that mine and everyone else’s Worldwide Church of God world was dismantled from the inside out under the pretense of nothing has really changed. Cancer was finally God’s way of dealing with me for being a hearer, not a doer of the word, or so I thought. Then, suddenly, came intellectual freedom of facing death and realizing my own mortality in an unexpected way.

Something awoke inside me. Most people find religion when faced with catastrophic illness. I lost it. I was suddenly free of the hold the Worldwide Church of God had on me for my entire life. The cancer experience taught me that the people of “the world” were often more compassionate, more understanding, more accepting and more loving than most Worldwide Church of God members who had decades of overcoming and growing in grace and knowledge of God’s law. The problem was not with me, it was the toxic system I was in.

I was suddenly able to accept my mortality. I was not afraid to die anymore; death would no longer become the answering to God for why I failed to overcome human nature. Realization that a supreme being accepts and understands those who seek him and those who don’t, equally, suddenly hit me broadside.

I had always been afraid to leave because leaving Worldwide Church of God meant leaving God and that meant eternal death. Those who left where spiritual lepers that were avoided or simply became non-persons. I only wish I been asked to leave the Worldwide Church of God when leaving meant something. I quit as everyone else either awoke to find the emperor had no clothes or joined a splinter group who was convinced he still reined in regal garments. I left and suddenly, the world was a kinder, gentler place inside my soul.

PART III
Life After the Worldwide Church of God
With the detachment from the Worldwide Church of God cult comes a wonderful, yet scary feeling of being adrift without any anchor. Everything is suspect. God’s existence, religion, the historicity of Christ and the meaning of his sacrifice. The Worldwide Church of God cult always downplayed the deity of Christ and substituted the sovereign nature of the organization, apart from which was the second death in the resurrection for those who rejected.

For me to now embrace Christ without questioning everything seems no different from accepting the Worldwide Church of God lock, stock and barrel. To become overly “Jesusy” after being “WCGsy” seems like substituting one drug for another. That road has been traveled and will not be taken again. I will think long and hard before I leap into anything new.

Do not misinterpret. The deity or the sacrifice of Christ as savior is not rejected. I want to accept Christ as my personal savior. I simply do not know, nor do I think I ever will, have absolute proof of which view of the spiritual world is valid because they all funnel through the interpretations of fallible men. The wonderful difference now is the freedom to question without fear of rejection from God. I know that a supreme being loves me as a fallible human adrift in life. It’s OK not to know life’s answers. Simpletons are those who are convinced of their infallibility, while experts are those who realize they don’t really know much at all.

Previously, to even question sent waves of panic and anxiety coursing through the core of my soul. Those who question or have doubts do not measure up. I must therefore keep up the pretense of “getting it” or “being on track” with doctrines and teachings of “God’s true church” and “the work,” or will be exposed as a sham. Not worthy of God’s love. I must “make it into the kingdom” by obedience to God’s laws as understood by the Worldwide Church of God. When I failed to obey unrealistic standards, it was my fault because I was not close enough to God or rebellious to his government. Ironically, as hard as I tried to force myself, I never felt very religious despite hours of trying to pray and falling asleep instead. Instead of trying harder, I simply quit all together and confirmed what I felt I was: a failure. Guilt bred guilt.

Herbert W. Armstrong seared an innocent belief in man-oriented religious systems for me. A supreme being surely must understand the spiritual warping as the result of 35 years of Worldwide Church of God indoctrination. He must make allowances for those who are spiritually dysfunctional and intellectually honest when they confront the unanswerable questions of the meaning of existence and come up blank. If he doesn’t, I am in big trouble.

Why did he leave all mankind in the dark? If he had a simple message for mankind, why did he not make it clear to all what was expected and why we are here in a manner that would not be subject to interpretation and manipulation by religious despots such as Herbert W. Armstrong? Why obscure it behind ancient texts? Why not just write it in the sky each day or appear to each of us personally with his infinite ability to know every hair on our head? Why doesn’t God have a web page? Something as important as the meaning of life should not be encoded for an elite few to understand. If this is the case, I am pretty ticked at God for not making it clear to everybody.

I sincerely want to have a relationship with God. I want to feel spiritually secure in the knowledge of whom I am and why I take up space on the planet earth. It would be nice to absolutely know Christ is the vehicle for access to God and just invoke his name and everything is taken care of. I can say the words, but they are devoid of meaning for me. It is just a name when I say it. I am numb. Am I lost forever because of it?

No longer is hope held to find any answers to the ultimate questions. Never again will total, unwavering loyalties be given to a religious organization. On a sojourn without a clue to my destination, comfort lies in knowing that I no longer lay deluded in a toxic system such as the Worldwide Church of God. Love my neighbor as myself and share the burdens and joys of my fellow man. Be nice and think of others. Beyond that, what can God expect? Will punishments occur for only following this simple creed that Jesus said was the greatest commandment? I think not. My personal conviction is that in our existence after death, the higher power will reveal it to us and we will wonder why we ever made such a fuss about it in the first place. Of course, I could be wrong and a vengeful God will destroy me for all eternity. I will take the chance.

Two and a half years out of chemotherapy, my cancer is apparently gone for good. I am forging new, post-Worldwide Church of God, life full of pagan holidays and a new zest for life. I have not given up on Church entirely. Organized religion is to foster companionship with others in a social setting and as a vehicle to help my fellow man. Whether anyone believes as I is now irrelevant to me, although I enjoy discussing any theory or possibility of knowing the unknowable. The difference is that I no longer feel threatened or intimidated by not knowing. Had I grown up in a traditional Christian environment, this may not be the case. At least I can thank Herbert W. Armstrong for that (I am no longer afraid of the Germans or meat hooks either). Luckily, HWA’s tomorrow never came and a loving creator who accepts us unconditionally is now a possibility in my world of tomorrow. I now look forward to the spiritual recovery from a lifetime of cult teaching that formed my core identity. Tomorrow is quite wonderful after all.

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The Infamous ManPower Papers

American Religious Police State

 

In 1961 at the behest of the Armstrongs a “manpower committee” comprising 15 of the leading men of Ambassador College (AC) was formed. The noble purpose of this committee was to evaluate AC students-especially male students-and determine whether or not to employ them at AC or in the Worldwide Church of God (WCG) upon graduation. The Manpower Committee, however, quickly degenerated into a high-level gossip session in which a group of corporate misfits combined to destroy the reputation of numerous students whose only offense may have been intellectual resistance to the doctrinal intimidation and personal prejudices of AC/WCG officials while attending to their formal education.

Before any discussion of a student began, his picture was projected onto a screen. Then, as the members of this “spiritual jury” stared at the student’s image, each one of them divulged information – often given to them confidentially in private counseling sessions – gathered on the student. This information often included a student’s background, racial and genetic heritage, sex and dating problems, attitudes, and physique, in addition to biased personal assessments of a student’s potential worth to the organization.

Below Ambassador Report is reprinting a number of statements made in these manpower meetings that aptly illustrate the mentality of the Ambassador College administration in the 1960s. Little if any concrete evidence for the allegations, innuendos, or rumors in the following quotations was ever formally submitted, probably because it never existed. All students were tried in absentia and never given a chance to reply to the biased information disseminated in these meetings that sullied their reputations. Yet the essence of what was said in these meetings was carefully typed and distributed to several leading men at AC in Pasadena, the vice-chancellor of AC’s Texas campus, and AC’s Personnel Office. (In order to protect the identity and reputation of the students mentioned in the following statements, we will refer to all male students as “X” and to all females students as “Y.” We have gone to great lengths to delete anything that we felt could lead to the identification of a student.)

RACIST COMMENTS

“Like most Negroes he is reserved, timid, and not as warm and spontaneous as he could be…. Most of our Negro leaders are partially white and don’t have the normal dull mind of the average Negro.”

“X has a lot of ego. He is a Jew, and a Jew feeds upon applause, people appreciating him, living in the limelight, being a performer, so they are hard to convert-but once converted Jews can be the best instrument in God’s hands there is.”

“Mr. Meredith feels a lot of this apparent haughtiness and cockiness is the results of the English class distinction bred in him…. The English people tend to be that way…. The English do this naturally.”

“He is converted, yet like most Germans, is hard to love…. It is most imperative that we all get to know him.”

COMMENTS ON SEX PROBLEMS

“He has had a sex problem since he was ten or twelve years of age; and since he came to college he has been able to overcome it several months at a time, but continually lapses back into it.”

“He is all but a practicing homosexual, has a masturbation problem, and apparently is only here to protect himself from the draft.”

“He is starry-eyed, has a glassy stare when speaking, is hard to listen to because of his poor eye contact-this may be a result of excessive masturbation in the past.”

“X was disfellowshipped from the Church several years ago because of homosexual problems.”

“She comes from a mother dominated home, a pragmatic home, and she needs a ‘he man’ to solve her problems.”

“Y has an excellent I.Q. of 123, but is neurotic…. She is unbalanced, she has sex problems and has masturbated from the time she was about 12 years of age…. She had an affair with a man in the… Church. She doesn’t fit here, she is a wrong influence. She shows definite deep influence from demons.”

“She acts like a lesbian, but is not-her fear and dislike for men is a result of demon influence as well as the result of an affair she had with a man that discussed her with men. She and her family have consulted spirits in the past….”

“He often looks glassy eyed, is washed out, enervated, which is unusual because he works out with weights and is athletic…. It’s interesting-he gave an Attack Speech this morning on masturbation-people tend to attack most vociferously the very thing they are fighting.”

“And although we would not say he is a weird personality, he has a few, weird, creepy characteristics. Dr. Hoeh wondered if he doesn’t have mental sexual problems, that he may be an intellectual homosexual, not that he’s ever physically committed such an act, but does he think about [it] ? We need to sound him out and find out.”

“Y has had dating problems with the fellows, a strong sex drive, a record of instability…”

“He does confess to mentally fornicating with our girls every day of his life. Before he came into the church he used to masturbate twice a day-he is a sexual pervert in his mind. He has had demon problems….”

“X was also discussed as a possible man for the Sermonette List, but when we found he was also guilty of necking (though done very lightly), he was rejected from the Sermonette List…. Mr. Apartian had talked to X before and will talk to him again to find out whether this was a quick goodnight kiss or could be classified as petting.”

MARRIAGE MANIPULATION

“Mr. Smith said whoever counsels them in the final outcome should certainly write her father and tell him we will do all we can to discourage her marriage if he wants us to…. After further discussion we all feel best to advise them to throw cold water on it….”

“Mr. Meredith has already counselled him to postpone any engagement plans, primarily because Mrs. Armstrong was horrified when she heard about them.”

“The Manpower Committee saw no objections to a marriage sometime in June.”

“Mr. Hill said X had counselled him about marrying Y…. Dr. Hoeh did not feel, however, that she should tie herself down to him-she is a terrific girl, should be a Minister’s wife.…”

“Mr. Armstrong just recently made an ironclad rule that any Senior who wants to marry a Freshman is automatically out of college and if he doesn’t take that in a right attitude is out of the Church.”

“X and Y were making marriage plans when advised to put it in God’s hands, break off the wedding plans, and wait until a later date…. it is doubtful she can be sure she and X are actually in love.”

“Mr. Portune said he called the engagement between X and Y off-that he did not believe X was stable enough or ready for marriage.”

“Mr. Elliott brought up the problem of Senior men speaking for Freshmen girls a few weeks after they have arrived on campus…. We are not bringing girls to Ambassador College to marry Senior students after only being here a month or two-we are bringing them here to train them to be wives and mothers, which should mean at least two years at Ambassador College.”

“X was going steadily with Y until Dr. Hoeh counselled him to consider marrying a Russian…. Mr. Portune brought out, however, that he had counselled them and told them that they could not get married for a year and a half after graduation and they both know that they cannot get married…. These students need to learn that unless God is with them they have no business getting married in the first place…. Let’s give them the test, make them… quit running from one minister to the next… and wait the year and a half after graduation as Mr. Portune told them to do in the first place…. Take the emphasis off sex and marriage and get it on the desire to seek the Kingdom of God.”

“Y and X are in love, but they were told they must not get married until the Feast of Tabernacles, 196- [1½ years after this was written]. This will be quite a trial on both of them.”

“He has effeminate tendencies and is definitely a fringer. We need to tell him we don’t want to live his fife, but we advise him not to get married-that the marriage will not work….”

“Now Y is over there and she is getting romantically involved with a weak student named X. His stock is weak. If we were cattle raisers we would not begin to allow such mating to take place. Breeding is very important.”

“X is too close to Y, we need to break them up-either he goes or she goes. He is too polished, he needs Texas [Ambassador College’s Texas campus), he needs to get a little manure under his fingernails….”

“He is interested in Y…. Mr. Apartian mentioned being disappointed with both of their attitudes, because he told them to break it off-but she loves him…. She is sanctimonious, like he is, and we only have eight years left anyhow [8 years till 1975, the year the WCG predicted Christ would return].”

“Mr. Portune… says he [X]… is a clod… a clown in the eyes of the other students, a prolific eater-eats everything in sight. X is only $15 in debt. He wants to marry Y. She… comes from good stock, is a nice-looking girl, beautifully shaped, and is only $438 in debt. Mr. Hill [said X]… has an odd approach, hasn’t produced, and can’t identify himself with the problems. He is like an unemotional fish and needs to attack something and get stirred up. Mr. Blackwell wondered then if it might not be best to… separate he and Y for awhile… and let him know this is it-sink or swim.”

“Dr. Zimmerman… counseled him… to put cold water on his plans with Y…. During the past summer he was sent to… look for work, primarily to separate he and Y…. He later came back to ask Dr. Zimmerman to ask again for approval to get married. Dr. Zimmerman told him again to throw cold water on it…. X felt he could…. Dr. Zimmerman doesn’t feel any consideration should be given him toward marriage, that he should be told again to put cold water on it. Mr. Meredith said he should be told not to even think about marriage for one or two years at least”

GENERAL COMMENTS

“X is odd, he came to talk to Mr. Meredith about his inability to sweat in prayer, after Mr. Meredith’s sermon on really putting your heart and all your being into prayer….”

“X was told he must lose five pounds a month.”

“X is also odd, finky, but has a good mind…. He has been too steeped in music….”

“He was recently given a lie detector’s test which shows him to be a liar and a thief, but since the test is not infallible, and he staunchly maintains his innocence, we cannot be sure that he is a thief and liar. The lie detector records only conscious thought, however, and he was grilled for more than eight hours….”

“X is… very hard to get to know-there is always a question in our minds as to what is going on in his mind.”

“X… has had a perpetual health problem (constipation).”

“Y is weird; she is not normal; she is extremely neurotic. We wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t someday try to destroy herself….”

“Some of the students just had a big party at which they played questionable music, with a wrong beat, drank too many beers, got involved in the wrong kind of dancing….”

“Mr. Meredith, when reading about the wretched background he [X] came from, added that X’s mother and father get in real “knock-down-and-drag-out” fights, get involved in sexual perversion, and have a wretched relationship. She has a Pentecostal background.”

“Mr. [Ted] Armstrong read the resume for X and the comments made at previous Man-Power Meetings-with the comment that X is an ‘ass.’… Being an ass is no condemnation, it is far better to be an ass than to be effeminate, a weakling, or a problem.”

“Mr. Garner Ted Armstrong opened the meeting…. Mr. Armstrong further stressed the need for pooling our information from both colleges [Ambassador College’s campuses in Pasadena and in Big Sandy] by receiving their [man-power] notes for graduating seniors and supplying them with ours.”

“Mr. Armstrong could see no reason why they should not get married. His future is already mapped out for him.”

“He is somewhat boyish… having been reared without a man in the house, and has taken on many womanish ways-although we don’t feel he is effeminate.”

“After the previous Man-Power comments were read on X, it was brought out that he is a product of his environment. Richard Plache said his father is extremely odd, a character, is self-righteous, egotistical, and is a constant problem. Like his father, he goes to bed at night wanting to die…. he has a clinging, fishy handshake, showing complete lack of strength, character, etc…. Mr. Meredith explained the need for all of us, as Man Power Committee members, to get beneath the veneer of these men and fully know their problems….”

“Mr. Meredith… said… he is dull…. Richard Plache added… that… X’s parents have the same slow, dull, sluggish ways In fact, he has a younger brother who is far worse than he is-is much more buffoonish , duller, and has almost no life or spark at all. Mr. Portune feels… we could send him out for a trial as a warm body… to the minister and assist the minister in some of the routine visits.”

“Mr. Armstrong read the previous evaluations of X which included comments on his family background…. He is in love with Y and they eventually want to get married. Mr. Armstrong found it a little hard to understand a mutual attraction between them…. He is sincere and he assures us he really loves Y and that there is a mutual physical attraction as well as the intellectual. Most of us might not find her attractive because of her thick wrists and ankles and blocky build….”

“Mr. Armstrong said the Admissions Committee needs to be more strict and forceful in turning down people who have physical handicaps”

“Y is not a very pretty girl, she is not a great intellect, but she will make someone a very fine wife.”

“Neither Mr. Armstrong nor Mr. Meredith feel that this is the right girl for X; she is a peasant-type girl, is slightly dumb and immature.”

“Mr. Hill… says there are no problems except for a few effeminate flareups now and then, a womanish tendency, but he does have good dignity, a good mind….”

“He is a liar, a fink, a queer, and has lost job after job.”

“X has a self-righteous attitude. He… has a semirebellious attitude… is another one of those whom we cannot seem to get to know.”

“He continues to show disrespect for authority, talks disparagingly of the leaders of the work over the breakfast table… has many signs of hidden rebellion. His children are constantly on the spanking list at school…. He is a dirty player, fouls others continually.”

“X appears to have a bad attitude some, or most of the time. The whole attitude of that family has never been too good.”

“We need to get to know X and jar him into cooperation….”

“X is weak, effeminate, unable to rule his house and unable to master his marital problems”

“He is slow, dull, unable to think, and is all but completely lacking in zeal.”

“X is a hard worker, but he doesn’t seem to know his own mind.”

“She had a breakdown in Mr. Buzzard’s class the other day-she couldn’t stop crying. We don’t want ‘odd’ people-people obviously demon influenced. We should not hesitate to kick her out at the end of this semester, unless there is a drastic change.”

“He is not emotionally unstable as girls normally are, nevertheless, he does have an emotional problem.”

“X is still somewhat girlish, although not queer; he lacks the strong masculine quality. He has a weak voice like Richard Nixon….”

“He did finally come to talk to Mr. Elliott, he told about kissing in the bedroom, where another student saw him, but he didn’t tell everything. He went behind the science class building, behind Mr. Meredith’s house, and fondled her breasts, etc., and she is the one who told this to Mr. Elliott.”

“Mr. Ted Armstrong said there are still security leaks in our manpower committee that must be stopped. Word got back to X that we had discussed him in a recent manpower meeting, but what he heard was 5th or 6th hand, perverted, warped, and only a small percent correct.”

“Unless he goes into the field [ministry], the draft may snatch him up. Someway we need to legally classify him as doing ministerial work of some nature. Mr. Hill classified X as an assistant to him, dealing with theological responsibilities, as a ministerial assistant, and he was reclassified without any problem. He suggests we write the same kind of letter he did to the draft board…. ”

“X took Y, W, V, Z, and the girls signed out to go to the Student Dance. Instead they went to a football game, and when it didn’t prove exciting enough they went to a park and played touch football themselves. Some other people joined the party… and they wound upgoing to the sister’s house of one of the people they met and staying till 2:30 in the morning dancing and drinking. When they brought the girls back they were fearful of getting caught so they dropped the girls off on Orange Grove Boulevard. The girls cut through the Orange Grove Manor property and signed in-but they falsified their time…. His father is cocky, conceited, has constant financial problems… is often bothered with demons, etc.”

“…the sewage of X’s activity continues to flow through to us He is one of the worst scum who has ever walked across this campus”

Ambassador Report feels that the manpower mentality still predominates at AC. Some have cited the discontinuation of the comprehensive Manpower Committee in 1970 as a sign that all is now well. However, a memorandum from the committee’s chairman, Gainer Ted Armstrong, indicates that there is still cause for concern:

“…it will be no handicap whatever for various departments to obtain useful information about prospective employees, or for a smaller group to make requests concerning prospective ministerial assistants….” (Memorandum to All Committee Members, Manpower, Jan. 8, 1970.)

Most of the men who made the assessments and final decisions in manpower meetings are still college administrators, student counselors, department heads, or policymakers for the general student body. They still advise and counsel students, becoming familiar with each student’s most intimate problems. Yet the mentality of many of these men remains basically unchanged to this day. It is painfully obvious from their sermons and articles that their positions of prejudice and disregard for students’ rights still exist, public pronouncements to the contrary. The reason these harmful prejudices still exist is because the mentality of “ministerial privilege” has never been significantly discouraged nor discontinued from private practice among Ambassador executives.

Ambassador Report feels that student and public awareness of AC’s disregard for its students’ rights is imperative in order to discourage further abuse by members of the administration. Also, we encourage all AC students to be aware that what they reveal to AC counselors and/or WCG ministers may one day be used against them or passed on to others.

A reliable source inside AC has informed us that one administrator currently secretly records his counselings with students and church members and later has the conversations typed by his secretary for future reference. In light of this report, we feel the need to notify all AC students of their legal right to complete confidentiality in matters of spiritual guidance and their right not to have their personal problems and identities divulged to AC or WCG officials for reasons of employment or any reason whatsoever.

California law clearly states that under no circumstance is a minister allowed to divulge or otherwise disseminate information supplied to him by an individual seeking spiritual guidance. Confidentiality is implied, and any breach of this confidence (especially for reasons of discrimination in employment) is prosecutable under the law.