Found this interesting as another way to interpret my former experience in armstrongism. Perhaps this will help you the reader with your journey thru the smoke and mirrors that present themselves.
How to be an Atheist in Medieval Europe
Alec Ryrie takes a tour of medieval unbelief, showing why some believed that God was being used to swindle and manipulate them. A lecture by Professor Alec Ryrie, Gresham Professor of Divinity 27 September 2018.
Can Metaphysics Discern God? Part II
Can metaphysics discern God? How to think about God rationally, logically, profoundly, critically? Have no illusion that metaphysics can find God, but can a kind of progress be made?