Lake of Fire Pizza

Lake Of Fire Pizza
Lake Of Fire Pizza

Excogger gives us this gem from False Prophet Ronald Weinland:

Wait! Now it all makes sense! I have finally figured out Revelation 11, etc.

The two FaceBook pages are the Two Witnesses. They have power to block, intimidate and take down the FaceBook pages of their opponents and critics. Not only that, but Ron’s publicist can hack the computers of ANYONE who would dare mock or criticize PKG and their pages. This is the Great Tribulation: there will be much gnashing of teeth and visits to computer repair shops.

The PKG pages will operate for 42 months, until the Israeli Government internet security takes them down for exactly 84 hours. Then Ron’s god will fly into Jerusalem and set up 144,000 Facebook Pages. He will establish a new Operating System which will replace Windows, OSX and Linux. Social media peace will ensue and all hackers will be forced to work making pizzas at the Lake of Fire Pizza franchises.

Consider this scenario at the Lake of Fire Pizza:

Server: Is there a problem, sir?

Customer: This pizza is burnt!

Server: What did you expect?

For far too long we’ve been advising the Armstrongist leaders to repent. The alternative is… well… unpleasant to contemplate.

 Deuteronomy 18:20 —

But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.

Revelation 19:20 —

And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.

Revelation 22:5 —

For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Hebrews 6:4-6 —

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.

So here we have the False Prophets: Among them are Roderick Meredith, David Pack, Gerald Flurry and Ronald Weinland, along with dozens and even hundreds of others spouting prophetic nonsense in the Name of God — with churches, insultingly enough, named Church of God — based on British Israelism which has failed, illustrating quite pointedly that God did not send them, is not working with them and certainly doesn’t validate them with any success in their prognostications that they claim they are making in His Name. God has to be pretty ticked. He has declared the death penalty upon them — “that prophet shall die” [in the case of Gerald Flurry that’s a double entendre]. Furthermore, they are liars and will not be in the Kingdom of God, if we are to believe Revelation. And if we don’t, then why listen to these predatory hustlers at all? They are sorcerers, idolaters and love and make lies. Furthermore, if any think they will get a second chance in the second resurrection, the Apostle Paul [if, indeed, he is the author of Hebrews] makes it clear that they’ve had their chance (for quite a number of years — even decades) to embrace their endarkenment.

It gets really frustrating when Scripture so clearly describes these scoundrels in II Timothy 3 and then tells Christians everywhere, “from such turn away”. Both Roderick Meredith and David Pack claim that they have not committed a “major sin” since baptism. What would a major sin to them be, do pray tell? Having a romantic date with another guy? Is that it? Certainly, speaking lies in the Name of God would seem to be particularly heinous if it weren’t for the oppression they ply on their congregational prey. It gets to be pretty intense. You can’t go to the bathroom, no matter how bad you need to, during David Pack’s sermons? And Ronald Weinland — hey, he’s a convicted felon, convicted by a jury of his peers during prosecution by the United States Justice Department for Felony Income Tax Evasion. Assuredly, he, of all people, should sort of get the idea that he’s done something wrong, and, maybe, he might just consider that his prophecies which he wrote and published in books have failed.

Well.

We have tried and tried to get through to these thick-headed narcissistic morons to no avail. The Bible says… if you don’t repent, you are going to die. What part of that don’t you get? Are you all atheists? Don’t you believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God? Your behavior more than suggests that you don’t believe and you don’t think that Scripture has any authority.

Here’s the deal: If you are right that God and the Bible don’t matter, logically speaking, you don’t matter either, because you claim you base all your teaching on God and the Bible. You are irrational and chaotic. You have no worth whatsoever.

And so it is, if the Words of the Book come to pass, as you scream with excruciating pain from the many stripes and are in abject terror as you plunge into the flames of the Lake of Fire with fourth degree burns, we will attempt to shout to you above the roar of the conflagration,

What did you expect?

7 Replies to “Lake of Fire Pizza”

  1. It’s not difficult to picture Roderick Meredith, David Pack, Gerald Flurry, Ronald Weinland and the others standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the Lake of Fire and telling God,

    We were just following Herbert Armstrong

    To which, God points to a fat burnt figure falling headfirst into the fire and says,

    You mean him?

  2. Hilarious reply Douglas. And you know what, according to the believers bible that is exactly what is suppose to happen. And to those who follow Pack, or the 6-pack profit, or false prophet Meredith, this applies to you to.

  3. That believers’ Bible leaves little margin for error as to the fate of the false prophets who self-servingly manipulate their followers into unnatural behavior. Many people have suffered irreparable damage mentally, socially, financially, spiritually, and emotionally. For all of the shrinkage, the splintering, the dying off of the old guard, one thing has remained constant: the bad cycles of Armstrongism that affect the entire membership and the people who interact with them are not being broken or replaced by better, more healthful ways of doing things. There has not been a total capitulation as of yet, to the point where everyone bottoms out, realizes the horrible damage, and seeks better ways.

    This capitulation cannot be far away. The ACOG leaders are becoming increasingly more unjust, unfair, and demanding. Ridiculous prophecies continue to fail, and presumptuously taken titles have failed to be validated. Just this past year, we have seen an unmistakeable influx of current bruised, confused, and damaged members visit dissident blogs for opportunities to share their stories, and to perhaps search for some new insights. People who would not have acknowledged that some things are terribly wrong as short a time as 1 year ago, have seen too much, and since their own “spiritual guides” will not patiently hear their plights, they express them where they know that they will be listened to, and understood. I find that tremendously encouraging!

    The Mormons believe that on judgement day, God will explain to people exactly what is going on, and once informed, will give them a choice as to which side they are going to take. Because of all the confusion, all of the noise in the background, and the conflicting thoughts and theories, that concept makes so much more sense than being given one short lifetime to guess the right way, and to live it rigidly from that point on. Most humans believe they are acting on the best information, and with the best of intentions. It just seems like there is so much bad because the miscreants are the most highly visible ones.

    BB

  4. While the COGprophets are quick to denounce each other over the minutiae of their differing misinterpretations, they still cover for HWA’s pathetic predictions. Of course, following the Seven Errors of Church History, they need his false foundation to support their own dispensation.

    If you’re not thrown into the Pizza of Fire within 30 minutes, is it free?

    1. Yes, Hoss, they are free to burn… to extinction.

      And then when the Armstrongists are all burned up, the rest of us can live the rest of eternity in peace.

  5. January 16, 2016 – 30 years since the demise of HWA. Letting that event slip shows I’m losing touch – or else just have better things to think about.

    Thanks to Bob Thiel for reminding us, and admitting, “Herbert Armstrong made mistakes, and often big ones. ” And Bob’s post is adorned with his favorite HWA pic: wearing an idolatrous medal with pagan symbolism that was presented by an alleged but unprosecuted war criminal.

    By the way, Bob actually appeared in a dream last night. Yes, true story. I wonder if it has any prophetic significance…

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