News Flash: Herbert Armstrong is Dead!

joecamel says: December 30, 2012 at 21:50 on the False Prophet Ronald Weinland blog:

  • HWA lives on inspite of your stupidity

We sort of wonder that if we were smart, would Herbert Armstrong die?

This is the very reason we need to publish this very important news flash: Herbert Armstrong is dead. No, really — he’s dead. Actually, Herbert Armstrong has been dead a long time now, something on the order of 27 years now — well over two decades, going on three.

It’s sort of like, you know, Herbert Armstrong is on an extended vacation, maybe in Argentina, along with Hitler, and he’ll return any day now and revitalize the nanocults he managed to manufacture as they split off, divided and multiplied all at the same time. Nevertheless, people seem to think he’s still alive. The United Church of God, an International Association has a picture of him and Loma up in their Head Office. Maybe she’s still alive too. We wonder what she thinks of Ramona and the $5 million divorce we all paid for. It’s sort like that Frankenstein Movie thing where Igor says, “He’s Alive!”. What does that make him now? 120 years old? Didn’t Moses make it to 120?

Any day now, Herbert Armstrong will back — alive, vibrant, vital (revived) — in full color and full of vim, vigor and vinegar (make that Dom Perignon). We expect to see him stagger up to the lectern, plowed, 5 sheets to the wind, with a cup of coffee in his hand and a donut on the Day of Atonement, and boom out, “Follow me, I will lead you into the Kingdom!”. He will personally supervise the archeological dig to unearth David’s throne so Christ can return. He will take us all to the Place of Safety and teach us there for three and one half years during the Great Tribulation, just as Revelation tells us. You know the Scripture! “And Herbert Armstrong will take God’s People into the Place of Safety, where they will be taught by That Apostle for a time, times and half a time until the Seventh Trumpet Sounds and the Lamb returns!” Blow the dust off your Bible! It’s there. Somewhere. In the inspired margins. Next to some passages you’ve highlighted with colored pencils.

joecamel seems to be continuing the fine Armstrong tradition of just making stuff up. On the other hand, we don’t:

Herbert Armstrong is dead.

This is a real shocker!

It’s been kept a secret all these years through the Great Conspiracy, started by Joseph Tkach, Senior and perpetuated by his son. They even sold off the Ambassador College properties to keep the secret alive. The grave of Herbert Armstrong is full of dumbells from the weight room of the Pasadena YMCA.

But, nevertheless, and we know this will stretch your incredulity: Herbert Armstrong is dead. Really, really dead. Doornail. Kaput. Bones and dust. And his grave is with us unto this day. There’s a death certificate. People attended the funeral. Herbert Armstrong is like, dead, man.

This is not the only epiphany we have for you.

Howard Clark suffered a spinal injury in the Korean War which left him paralyzed. His legs withered and he had to use a wheelchair. He had married the nurse who had taken care of him after his injury in the War. He had come to Ambassador College and attended as a student apparently from 1959 to 1963.

It was a year before this time that Richard David Armstrong anointed Howard Clark. Now it was the case that his legs had atrophied to the extent that it was just not possible for him to walk, but after the anointing by Richard David Armstrong, he began to strengthen and began walking shortly thereafter. Thus, Richard David Armstrong had achieved a certain amount of credibility in 1958 as a minister and son of Herbert Armstrong.

Shortly after this anointing, Richard David Armstrong suffered an automobile accident, July 23rd, 1958. It was just a week later that he died on July 30, 1958. The account of the incident is recounted at The Exit and Support Network.

Here is the account from Herbert Armstrong about his son in Volume II of his Autobiography:

During the early part of summer, 1958, Mrs. Armstrong and I had driven once more back up to Oregon, for a period of fasting and rest on one of the Oregon beaches. Dick was left in command at headquarters. In more ways than one he showed excellent executive ability and good judgment. We returned to Pasadena after two or three weeks. It was along about this time that two significant events — occurrences that would seem incredible to many — directly involved Dick. One, the birth of a baby. It was a most serious breech birth. The situation was becoming desperate, and since Dick was the ranking minister then at headquarters, he was called in on the emergency. He drove immediately to the home where the baby was being delivered. The doctor and the nurse were near exhaustion — perhaps more of hope than physical — and the mother near physical exhaustion. Of course all Dick could do was pray but pray he did, and in faith. He kept reassuring the others but the situation was fast becoming hopeless. Finally the doctor gave up hope, said there was nothing he could do, unless to take the baby by cesarean section, which the family refused to allow.


The doctor went home. The husband and the wife were counseled by Dick not to become frantic or to lose hope but to rely on God. Dick refused to lose faith. He continued to pray. And finally his faith was rewarded. The fetus turned over in the womb. The doctor was called back, and the baby was born in a normal manner. The other incident, more amazing, involved a war veteran. He was paralyzed in his back, in his legs and both arms — helpless. He had to be moved in a wheelchair. The military hospitals had done everything for him that medical science could do. It was an incurable case. He was confined to helplessness for life, and put on a life pension for special financial support. This man called for Dick to pray for him and ask God to perform a miracle, that he might be restored to a life of usefulness. This was one of Dick’s last acts. He did go to this man, and following the New Testament instruction in James 5:14-15, anointed him with oil, and laid hands on him as he prayed, asking the Eternal Creator to do what man was unable to do, and had pronounced impossible to be done. This man, a former Yale football player, was healed, and quickly restored to the full use of arms and legs and his whole body. He entered Ambassador College, and soon was climbing up and down ladders painting buildings.

The Last Baptizing Tour It was shortly after this incident that Dick was off, with an assistant, on a baptizing tour up the Pacific coast. A number of people had sent in written requests for counsel with a minister, and for baptism. At the time I was using, for an office, a very small room in what we called “the penthouse” atop the library building. The room was so small that I was having to use a small woman’s boudoir table for a desk — an ordinary business desk was too large for the room. I shall never forget, of course, how Dick came briskly running up the stairs to say good-bye. “Well Dad,” he said with cheerful enthusiasm, “I’m off on this trip.” A few days later his companion, Mr. Alton Billingsley, called me on the telephone.

Tragedy Strikes “Mr. Armstrong,” he said in a voice that signaled even before his words that something was very wrong, “We’ve had a terrible accident, and Dick is in very critical condition.” Quickly I asked for all of the facts. The accident had occurred a short distance north of San Luis Obispo, which is about halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco, on the Coast Highway. It had been a head-on collision. Both our men had been thrown completely out of the car. The right third of our car had been virtually sliced clear off. Dick had been sitting in the right front seat — often called “the death seat” — and had he not quickly moved to the left he would have been killed instantly. As I learned later, they were driving north on the Coast Highway 101, after having baptized a man that morning. As Mr. Billingsley was driving, Dick had opened his briefcase and was checking his list of people to visit planning their next few stops. They had been on a dual highway — one way traffic only on each side of a divided highway, with a short space in between. The divided highway had ended but somehow neither of them had noticed it. A half block or so to their left was another paved road running parallel to theirs, which Mr. Billingsley noticed, supposing it to be the other two lanes of the divided highway. Assuming that they were still on the divided highway with only one-way traffic on their two lanes, they were driving on the left lane to pass another car. Suddenly, from over a slight hilltop, came another car in their lane heading directly toward them. At this precise second they were almost past the car on their right — but not far enough to turn right in front of it in order to miss the oncoming car in their lane. There was no time for that, anyway. Dick shouted, “Turn left! Turn left!” Mr. Billingsley had only a fraction of a second to turn partly to the left. There was not enough time to turn out of the way of the oncoming car. Two cars, for example, speeding toward one another at fifty miles an hour or more, seeing each other about 150 feet away, will crash into each other in less than one second! The oncoming car hit them head-on, its right side striking our men’s car slightly to the right of center, and Dick’s car crashed the oncoming car into the third car that our men were then passing. It was a three-car crash! But I didn’t wait for all these details then. I got the essential details, and I was off in a flash for San Luis Obispo. Dick had been unconscious, and taken in an ambulance to a hospital in San Luis Obispo. I had our switchboard telephone operator call our college physician, Dr. Ralph E. Merrill, asking him to be ready as I would be driving past his office in Glendale, on the way to San Luis Obispo. I asked Mr. Norman Smith, our radio studio manager, to go with me. Dr. Merrill was ready as we drove past. I drove as fast as I dared, consistent with safety. Right then I was terribly aware of the DANGER of highway driving, and although I wanted to make the fastest time possible, caution and care in driving came first. It was a strenuous drive of approximately 200 miles. Arriving at the hospital, we found that Dick had been transferred to another hospital — there were two hospitals in this little city. We found him now conscious, but in very critical condition. His right arm was broken at the elbow; his pelvis had been broken badly, and they had him in traction. His jaw had been broken in three or four places; X-rays showed that his heart had been knocked over to the right — to the middle or slightly right of the middle of his chest; his left lung had been collapsed. Mr. Billingsley had been examined, and released — not sufficiently injured to remain in the hospital. Dick wanted to rely on God for healing, without medical aid. The doctors asked for a conference with me and Dr. Merrill. They explained that Dick was already in their care and to protect their reputation and that of the hospital, they had to administer medical aid or else have him moved, in which case he probably would die before we could get him home. Dr. Merrill, who himself had been healed by direct prayer, and understood both sides of this problem, advised us against moving him in his very critical condition. The hospital doctors agreed to give him the very minimum of medical aid consistent with their own and the hospital’s protection. I learned later, however, that in practice that meant giving him everything “medicine” knew how to give. It was a very difficult decision to make — but with so many bones broken it certainly seemed that we would be directly causing his death to move him out of the traction and other trappings and contraptions that they had him in. Then followed one of the most tense, strenuous week’s vigil of my life. I telephoned my wife, and she with Lois, Dick’s wife, and their two and one half month old son came to San Luis Obispo on the train. Of course Mr. Smith and I had anointed and prayed for Dick immediately. It was a week of almost constant prayer. Registered nurses were required to be in constant attendance around the clock. We had one “R.N.” as they are called in hospitals, at the college and another had applied for entrance to Ambassador College that autumn. By telephone, I arranged for these two to come immediately to the hospital, and the hospital supplied the third nurse. We preferred to have our own nurses at his side so far as possible. It was too agonizing a week to go into in detail. Dr. Merrill had to return to Glendale, but the rest of us remained in the hotel in San Luis Obispo, to be in as constant attendance as possible. The accident occurred on July 23, 1958. By evening of July 29, a very serious decision had to be made. Dick’s kidneys were not functioning enough to keep him alive much longer. The doctors at San Luis Obispo had called specialists from UCLA Medical Center to come up for consultation. They told me that it would be necessary to attempt to remove Dick to the medical center in Westwood (Los Angeles) where they could use an artificial kidney to stimulate normal action by his own kidneys. By carrying him suspended in traction on the special kind of pallet “bed” that he was strapped on, driving slowly in an ambulance through the night, they felt that they could successfully move him to the Los Angeles medical center. Our two nurses and one or more of their doctors went along in the ambulance. Also, Mr. Norman Smith, who had remained the week with me, went along with them. We tried to get a little sleep through part of that night, rising and leaving about 5 a.m. for Los Angeles. We felt we should arrive not too much later than the ambulance, since it was to drive very slowly. During the week, Dick had had various ones of us read the Bible to him. In spite of the pain, and the terrible condition, he kept in good spirits. Once, in prayer, he began thanking God for the many, many blessings that had been lavished on him. The nurse in attendance said that this continued a long time — he had so very MANY things to be thankful for. I had typed out a number of biblical PROMISES that God had made for us, from various parts of the Bible, for our nurses to read to Dick in the ambulance when he was awake. As we approached the Los Angeles area on the morning of June 30, strange premonitions seemed to come into my mind. I didn’t tell the others. I didn’t want to cause them any concern, worry, or lack of faith. This I had to fight out within my own mind, by prayer and mental concentration. Finally, it seemed that I had won a victory over these premonitions and I had gotten my mind again into a state of FAITH. We drove into the UCLA Medical Center parking lot. We

left the others in the car while Lois and I went to see Dick or to get a report on his condition. As we approached the entrance, Mr. Smith and our two nurses approached us, with the news that just before they could get the artificial kidney connected, Dick had died. There were present some of the most famous surgeons and specialists in the nation. They cut Dick open near the heart and tried to massage his heart back into action — they tried frantically everything that such specialists know, but to no avail. Dick’s body was then sent to a mortuary in Pasadena. It hit Lois as if she had been shot. I grabbed her, steadied her. “Steady, Lois,” I said as calmly as I could. “Remember you have another very precious little life to nurse and keep alive, now. You must keep calm so that your milk will not be disturbed.” Lois responded bravely, like a “trouper.” Then we discussed how to break the news to Mrs. Armstrong. We tried to break it gently so it wouldn’t come as too much of a shock. We tried to keep normal composure. “They’ve taken Dick back to Pasadena,” I said, trying to be casual as if everything was OK. But no one ever could mislead my wife. She almost fainted — for she knew that we were only trying to ease the blow. But, she always was a real “trouper” too, and she quickly recovered without going to pieces — though naturally wounded to the very depths. . . .


IT was an agonizing week for Lois, his mother and me. No one, of course, but a mother, can describe or fully appreciate a mother’s love for her son. But fathers love their sons, too. And my affection for Richard David had been greatly deepened by the special circumstances under which he had been born.

My Time of Trial It is, of course, natural for every father to want a son. When our first child was a girl I was not disappointed. Few fathers would be. Nor was I disappointed when our second child was another daughter. But when the ranking most famous obstetrical specialist in the world, in a Chicago hospital pulling my wife through a near-fatal mid-pregnancy toxemia eclampsia, with 30 percent albumin in the urine, warned us gravely that she could never undergo another pregnancy without fatal results to her and the child, I was disappointed beyond words to describe. I had to resign myself to a sonless life. And this medical pronouncement was confirmed by two other doctors. We didn’t know, then. And I’m not sure these doctors knew, the real REASON. Apparently not too much was understood, at that time, by the medical profession about this negative-positive RH blood-factor condition. But my wife and I were opposites in that regard. I had been forced to resign myself to a future without possibility of ever having a son. Then, eight years later, in Portland, Oregon, Mrs. Armstrong had been — as recounted earlier — suddenly, completely healed of several serious complications by a positive miracle resulting from believing prayer. We knew then, by faith, that whatever had been the disturbing factor to render another pregnancy fatal, had been removed by this healing. I knew then that God would give me a son. And ever since I felt that the day Richard David was born was the happiest day of my life. I was perfectly satisfied, then. God had blessed me with a son. He had been conceived less than a year after my conversion. But the great God had plans I did not know. I was perfectly satisfied with the one son. We did not plan to have another. A year and four months later, Garner Ted was born — and I then felt doubly blessed — with TWO sons. But when God took from me — or allowed to be taken — my firstborn son, on July 30, 1958 — less than three months before his thirtieth birthday — well, it seemed that I could have some little understanding of how Abraham must have felt when he expected to have to give up his son Isaac — or even God the Father of all, in giving His Son Jesus Christ for ME as well as for the world.

The Ordeal Dick’s death occurred early Wednesday morning, July 30, 1958. The accident had occurred the preceding Wednesday morning. The funeral was set for Friday, August 1. The day in between, Thursday July 31, Mrs. Armstrong and I shared a very sorrowful 41st wedding anniversary. On Wednesday we conferred with Messrs. Roderick Meredith, Herman Hoeh and Norman Smith regarding funeral arrangements.

They felt unanimously that it was my duty to officiate at the funeral, which we planned for a simple graveside service only. Through the day I drove in my car to inspect cemeteries — which I had not had occasion to do before in Pasadena. I do not now remember whether Mrs. Armstrong and Lois went along. Necessary arrangements were completed. Lois accompanied us to the mortuary to select the casket — selecting one in the type of wood Lois said was Dick’s favorite. To say that my comparatively brief graveside sermon was an ordeal would be a gross understatement. I had learned, many years before, in conducting many funerals, to steel my nerves and remain calm, with controlled emotions. But speaking at Dick’s funeral was altogether different. I found myself speaking in a louder, more concentrated voice than usual in a supreme effort to prevent emotional loss of control. I remember quoting a portion of Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, regarding the duty of those of us remaining to carry on the great work to which God had called us. My first impulse was to remain away from the Saturday afternoon college church service. I didn’t want to see anybody.

Nor did Mrs. Armstrong. But then I realized it was my duty to attend. I thought of entering at the last moment, and sitting in the front row before any could speak to me or offer condolences. But then I realized that some of the students had erroneously assumed that ministers were under such divine protection that no such tragedy could occur to one of them. Dick’s accident and death might shatter this faith. I knew I had to bring a message that would bolster and strengthen, not destroy, faith. These experiences were perhaps the most severe test I had ever been called on to experience. But of course I knew where to go for strength, wisdom, and help.

We Travel to Springfield Lois’ parents had come for the funeral. She and they planned for them to stay on a while with her, in the home she and Dick had purchased new just over a year before. Lois felt that perhaps, with her parents in the house, she might adjust to remaining there without Dick. I had assisted Dick and Lois with the down payment for the purchase of the property, and it probably was still less than half paid off. But Dick had been thoughtful in providing insurance which paid off the property in full. He also had provided insurance for Lois. And there was an additional $15,000 due Lois from group insurance carried by the College. However, the few days of attempts at adjusting to living in the house without Dick had convinced Lois, by that weekend, that she could not live there alone. Mrs. Armstrong, Lois and I planned a trip to get away from the trauma-shock we had undergone. I had learned that nothing is so quieting and relaxing to distraught nerves as a long trip on a train. So we planned a trip to Springfield, Missouri, to meet Ted and be with him for the final service of his evangelistic campaign. The death of Dick had caught Ted in a campaign he could not leave at the time. We left almost immediately, taking either the Chief, or the Super-Chief of the Santa Fe Railroad as far as Kansas City, changing there for a train to Springfield. Little Dicky — Richard David II — was carried in a sort of crib basket. It did Ted and his wife a great deal of good to have us with them in Springfield. He, too, had undergone a most severe ordeal. After a few days there, we journeyed on down to the location in Texas that later became the third campus of Ambassador College. We were then building there, of comparatively inexpensive all-steel construction, what we believed to be the largest “church auditorium” in Texas, as a tabernacle for an annual 8-day festival or convention — seating 8,000. After a day or two there, we journeyed on back to Pasadena. Soon we were engrossed in the many responsibilities of carrying on the work to which the living Christ had called us. We had, shortly before this, acquired the mansion of Mediterranean architectural design located between Mayfair (girls’ student residence), and Ambassador Hall. We had done a certain amount of remodelling to convert this property into another girls’ residence on campus — renamed Terrace Villa. Since Lois felt she could not endure living alone in the home she had shared for a year with Dick, we converted one wing of the ground floor of Terrace Villa into an apartment for her and little Dicky. This proved to be the best solution possible for Lois. She was on campus, where there was much activity. Many other girls were under the same roof, though she had the privacy of her own apartment. Also, she was abundantly supplied with “baby-sitters” whenever needed. Frequently, from that time, during the next few years, we all dreamed occasionally about Dick. It often seemed, in my dreams, as if he had come back from the dead and was living again — as indeed he shall — and in the not too distant future.

 If you are suspicious that Herbert Armstrong made this look and sound better than it was, with him as narcissistic hero at the center of it all, you are most wise.

My friend, who had been in Pasadena at the time, related to me last year what happened.

Alton Billingsly had been driving on the freeway with Richard David Armstrong as passenger. It was four lane divided highway, but work crews had diverted traffic so that it was two-way on a highway with only two lanes. Billingsly thought that he was still on the full freeway and drove in the left lane. When the car got to the top of the hill, it hit an automobile coming the opposite direction head-on. Richard David Armstrong was very seriously injured, but could have been saved if he had medical attention.

Now the way Herbert Armstrong tells the story is that Richard David Armstrong himself refused medical treatment because of the Radio Church of God beliefs. That is not the case. First, Alton Billingsly had told the paramedics that Richard could not have the treatment that would save his life because of church beliefs, and then Herbert Armstrong told the doctor the same thing. Herbert Armstrong made the ultimate decision. (This should be familiar to those who know the details behind the death of Loma Armstrong.)

There is also one other thing my friend told me that generally isn’t known.

Remember that my friend had been in Pasadena at the time. He was also in the home of Richard David Armstrong from time to time and knew him well.

Just prior to this accident leading to the death of an untreated Richard David Armstrong, he had warned his father, Herbert Armstrong concerning his corruption. Richard David Armstrong warned Herbert Armstrong to stop.

Now normally, this probably would not have fazed Herbert Armstrong in the slightest, but with the background of two perceived healings through Richard David Armstrong, such a warning would be problematic: Richard David Armstrong was well known, highly regarded, much loved and had credibility. He could have done real damage to his father.

Fate intervened, or rather, a careless driver did.

Now it is true that often we do not necessarily know our own motivations, particularly when self-interest is involved. No one could actually prove that Herbert Armstrong denied medical treatment to his own son to save his own worthless skin. It will remain a question. We do know that from that point, Herbert Armstrong “took off” and became much more corrupt, not just with lies and false prophecies but with his penchant for immorality and alcoholic behaviors: He was a very selfish man, totally narcissistic.

Sam Vaknin, self-acknowledged narcissist and perceived authority on narcissism, in his book,  Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited told us all that the prognosis for recovery is “poor and alarming”. He points out that narcissists are so self-absorbed that the whole universe is about them and there isn’t much hope to change from that perspective. There is no empathy for others: They are mere ciphers to be manipulated in ways that are advantageous to the narcissist.

If you will note from the Autobiography, Herbert Armstrong is more concerned about how he feels and what he’s going to do, more than he cares for others.

If you still aren’t convinced, then read this posting at Silenced about how Herbert Armstrong reacted to a suicide on Ambassador College Campus:

That was the last I saw of Jeff. Later that afternoon, we all arrived at a mandatory assembly in the gym, where it was announced that Jeff S. had committed suicide earlier that day by jumping off the Arroyo bridge — evidently just minutes after I had last seen him. The announcement was made — but it is what followed that was most troubling and revealing. The person doing the announcing of the suicide, who was a college administrator, took great pains to make sure everyone in attendance understood that Jeff’s parents did not blame the college, and that no one at the college was at fault. Then, after this terrible announcement and explanation, which took maybe 5 minutes, HWA got up front. Without the slightest acknowledgement of this terrible event, and without breaking stride, he launched into a tirade against all of those ministers who would dare question his authority. To HWA it was like a bake sale had been announced for the coming weekend. I will never forget the appalling atmosphere in that gym that day — students were crying because of Jeff S., and then HWA launches into his usual fit of anger.

As Cynthia G. commented on the post, RIP Dennis Jeffery Stephenson.

You may want to review the components of narcissism as given in our article,


How to be a Narcissistic Source Toady Suck-up:

Important Information to keep your relationship going!

So here we are: Joecamel says, HWA lives on inspite of your stupidity.  That is certainly the hope of those who want the return of Herbert Armstrong’s narcissism and all that it brings with it. Such people should have learned from his “descendants” of the various splinter nanocults of the Cult of Herbert Armstrong that it is not really desirable to have such people in charge. Robert Thiel is a good example of a bad example of what can happen when they have an entitlement thinking they are a prophet of God. People who encounter narcissists are totally drained mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially with absolutely no return on investment or positive results at all. Ronald Weinland is one of those who have drained his PKG members and is leaving them as he goes off to prison, without one shred of care about any of them. They were stupid dupes who gave him, his wife, his son and his daughter what he wanted and, in some cases, bankrupted them for his own selfish interests invested in a nice home, gold, jewelry, BMWs, travel, luxury accommodations, while spewing garbage being lapped up by his followers who are suffering personal loss as a result.

HWA lives on inspite of your stupidity.

Let’s hope not.

Herbert Armstrong is dead.

His legacy is not.

And Sam Vaknin, as a qualified expert on the subject, has a recommendation for those who encounter narcissists:

Run!

2013: What Could Possibly Happen Now?

‘Dr.’ Robert Thiel and the Continuing Sinking of the
Churches of God

Here at the Painful Truth, we analyze trends and project them forward; we do not predict, prognosticate: We are a non prophet organization.

So are the nanocults of the Cult of Herbert Armstrong (CoHA), if you look at their record… well, yes, they do have false prophets, there is that, but that’s not what we mean.

Consider our amazement then when 2012 pretty much ended up in ways we projected it might, with the caveat that it was actually a lot worse and certainly screwier than we could have imagined, and around here, we have pretty fertile imaginations: Some of the CoHA nanocult leaders did things beyond all reason, providing entertainment for some and a great deal of pain and embarrassment for others. Many of the scenarios were truly jaw-dropping.

The end of 2012 provided us with the greatest breath-taking events. I suppose you could say that we should have foreseen that Dr. Robert Thiel was going to start his own church after he had left Roderick Meredith and the Living Church of God, but, again, we aren’t prophets: We took our last crystal ball, bored holes in it and went bowling.

To begin with, we would have never guessed the name, which is Continuing Church of God Overseer and successors, a corporation sole. Technically, the abbreviation would be CCoGOaSaCS (I think the spell checker just committed suicide), but in a rare act of mercy with an even rarer flash of insight, Dr. Bob decided to use CCoG, which is a good thing because ccg is taken and so is ccg.org — much to the chagrin of the Canadian Coast Guard. He’s already got a mailing address, where he encouraging LCG members to send tithes as they wend their way from the fold of Meredith to the fold of Thiel. We rather assume that Dr. Bob will certainly have the Feast Days and the Feasts all planned out, replete with five star hotel accommodations and such. Maybe in California. Maybe not.

No matter what, projecting out past trends, we would expect a great deal of dampened enthusiasm as Dr. Bob works out the Church Corporate thing. He’s the heart and sole of it all. He may or may not have been planning this for awhile. He apparently severed from his membership with Living July 14th, 2012, which is 10 days after the celebration of the Declaration of Independence, which probably has no real bearing on anything.

Dr. Bob does bring a few pluses to the table. For one thing, there’s that PhD in something or other he bought online from some outfit in India. He doesn’t say much about defending his thesis, which we rather think is 2012: The Rise of the Secret Sect. We know what you are thinking. Maybe, just maybe, the book was about him and the Continuing Church of God Overseer and successors, a corporation sole. We suspect that he may have had that in the back of his mind, seeing as though he got the idea from Doug Winail that Dr. Bob himself (speaking of himself in third person, which is kind of weird for a PhD guy and more like a Felon Mental Patient) is not just a prophet of God, but he is one of the two witnesses. We’re not sure how many sets of two witnesses there are, but there have to be hundreds at the minimum.

We think that Dr. Bob should see if Baron Karl zu Guttenberg might join him in collaboration. It would be a perfect pairing: Dr. Bob, God’s Prophet and one of the two witnesses and the Baron as the Beast of Revelation. Maybe the Baron could run the office using his Beast Powers, if he’s not too busy. Instead of “Headquarters” or “Home Office” they could call it something like “Castle Greyskull”.

Weinland In 'Club Fed' Prison With Golf Cart
Weinland In ‘Club Fed’ Prison With Golf Cart

Which brings us to the topic of Ronald Weinland, who is also part of a set of two witness, of the which, he is the active member and his wife is the Silent Witness. We’re not really sure how that works out. One would think that a witness who stands up for the Word of God would say something, but apparently not. We don’t pretend to know the mysterious ways of the CoHA and its nanocults. Now if we were to take a wild guess, we’d probably say that Ronald Weinland, as a convicted felon with the tracking bracelet of humility giving sermons over the Internet from his basement as a sub dude, is going to be safely ensconced in Federal Prison for three and a half years around about Groundhog’s Day, but we’ve seen delays before, so we aren’t going to put a large bet on that one. He ran afoul of the Internal Revenue Service for Income Tax Evasion and was convicted in Federal Court by a jury of his peers (even if he does not see them as such). You’d think that as God’s Prophet, he could have seen that coming, but you’d be wrong.

We can wade in reverse through the dregs of 2012 briefly: It was the year that the United Church of God, an International Association found that it’s income is stable, but insisted on a fast for the budget, requested by their new chairman of the board, Robin Weber. Expenses are up, probably because of hiring some ministers or something. The biggest percentage cut seems to be 44% off the International travel budget. This does not mean that the UCG, along with most of the others didn’t have their Christmas Family extravaganzas. The non Armstrongists have something like that every summer and it’s called “Super Sabbath”, but having the CoHA celebration at XMass is awfully suspiciously like some sort of pagan celebration they should really avoid, lest they have the appearance of evil. We project that they will have one of these in 2013 as well. We’ll see. Budget, you know. We suggest they cut the biggest expense of all and slash membership by 100%. Of course, the only reason that Robin Weber became chairman is that Melvin Rhodes stepped down and out at UCG because of some past undisclosed indiscretion.

Roderick Meredith as Herbert Armstrong's MiniMe
Roderick Meredith as Herbert Armstrong’s MiniMe

No posting like this would be complete without mentioning false prophet Roderick Meredith at least twice (it’s like mentioning Hitler: It has to come up some time as some sort of law). Roderick Meredith prophesied, yeah, verily and forsooth, that the Price of Gasoline would drop so LCG members could keep the Feast. This was a major fail, especially in some areas, where, like in California, the gasoline prices went up to a record high just before the Feast and came down a few weeks later. We’re still looking for Meredith to fail predict the past which has already happened, but he just didn’t get the message. Now we aren’t saying the old fool hasn’t failed to predict the past accurately, we just don’t have an obvious example to point to. Living is still unable to escape being under the shadow of the Ratzman shooting and we can certainly say that attending could very well be hazardous to your health. We wonder if Dennis Luker is sizing the drapes. Thiel may have first dibs.

David Hulme with his Church of God, an International Community, apparently is on the skids. We wouldn’t have noticed, except for the posting at Banned! This is really small potatoes among the nanocults, folks.

Davy Pack is our personal favorite with his Restored Church of God. We’re not sure what it’s restored from, but they may want to do a little more remodel over there. Shovels have been turned for Davy’s theme park to rival Ambassador College, but the banks just weren’t buying it for the loans. Something about ROI and that’s even without the internal member letters and documents being leaked. We say, if you want to keep your secret, don’t tell anybody. Davy blabs. Probably an ego thing.

We’d mention CoGIC, but it’s so obscure nobody much ever pays attention to it. Apparently, in 2012,  people paid even less attention to it, if that’s possible.

Jim Franks over at the Church of God, Worldwide Association was up to his chin with alligators draining the swamps again in 2012. The CoGWA still has not significant media presence, were forced to start media projects from scratch (although using Flipping Books on their website was a master stroke, even if the material is garbage). Some of the members are still visiting the UCG and really lack a commitment to one of the newer nanocults of the CoHA. Nevertheless, it does appear that our illustrious Mr. Franks did a bit of damage by exposing Melvin Rhodes to the United Leadership to force his exodus, proving once again that politics in the Armstrongist Churches of God is alive. Not alive and well. Just alive.

Craig White (Europe to sell Alaska to Russia for helping to invade the United States), “Apostle” Malm, E. W. King (with multiple insignificant generalistic type prophecies fulfilled), M. John Allen (Yahweh is a reptilian extraterrestrial from the planet Nibiru [no mention of whether he comes through the Stargate at the bottom of the ocean]), Gerald Flurry of the Philadelphia Church of God and a host of other colorful characters litter the dump of the CoHA nanocults.

After all of this, do you want to know what could possibly happen in 2013?

We think we see trends and we suspect they will continue:

1) Expect the unexpected;

2) It seems likely there will be more scandals to rock the CoHA nanocults;

3) More divisions may be coming (well, duh!);

4) Weirdness will increase;

5) Budgets will fall;

6) Hyperbole will increase;

7) Indecision will continue;

8) Problems won’t find solutions (but keep looking, innovation may not help, but it sure could be entertaining);

9) Very few things will be hidden for long, in spite of the best efforts of cover up;

10) Jesus will refuse to return in 2013 and won’t even bother to initiate the Great Tribulation as the start of the end of the end;

11) But you can be sure, someone will predict it anyway.

Will people keep the Feast of Tabernacles in 2013? Yes.

Will there be fewer people attending the Feast of Tabernacles in 2013? Yes.

Will it be more difficult for people to attend the Feast of Tabernacles in 2013? Yes.

Will it be more meaningless to attend the Feast of Tabernacles in 2013? Yes.

See! We’re not all negative!

We enjoyed rereading Daughter of Babylon: The True History of the Worldwide Church of God by Bruce Renehan again in 2012 (in the new Flipping Book version) from AmbassadorReports.com. We were reminded that the True History of The True Church is nothing of the kind, but pure rubbish stolen from Ellen G. White through the auspices of Dugger and Dodd. Bruce Renehan actually went to the effort to write to the Waldensian Society to prove they were never Sabbath Keepers, let alone kept the Feasts: They considered themselves good Catholics at the time and are now Protestant.

What is so unsettling about this is that during his research, he found others he had known in the Worldwide Church of God also searching the archives. Many of them were or had been ministers. They all knew that the History was a lie, but continued to teach it as if it were true.

This is the magic of Armstrongism in the Cult of Herbert Armstrong in the nanocults: They know they are wrong — totally wrong, but they teach and preach it anyway. By this time, they all know that British Israelism is pure rubbish, easily scientifically disproved once and for all, but they still hold to the Herbert Armstrong fallacy that “British Israelism is the Key to Prophecy”. You can see how that worked out: Herbert Armstrong was a false prophet and so are they all.

They also know that their teaching on tithing cannot be supported Scripturally. Moreover, because there is no such thing as a “second tithe” (look it up in an exhaustive concordance — we’ll wait), there is no funding at all to keep the Feast of Tabernacles. You are on your own time and money on that one. And yes, it could be a blessing, if it weren’t for all those doomsday sermons based on British Israelism you hear in Feast sermons to addle your brain. Everywhere you look, the cult religion falls apart. There is no viability in it at all.

Armstrongism is a purely physical ceremonial cult religion which was the only thing a non spiritual Herbert Armstrong could understand in his ego and greed as a failed ad copy writer going through a psychotic break he interpreted as a religious conversion. He admitted in his Autobiography that he could go weeks at a time being “off” and unable to produce anything and then having a burst of energy to be able to do “brilliant” work. Anyone who owns a DSM-IV ought to be able to suss that one out as bipolar disease manic-depressive illness. This is not to say he wasn’t a sociopath as well, having, as it were, an adaptive conscience which enabled him to lie successfully as the basis of his “Executive Ability”.

With this background, his “descendants” in this dead end evolution at the shallow end of the gene pool populated with a crowded community of alpha males looking to be top banana, having cemented their Folie à deux permanently into a distorted perception of cult mentality, went forth with their delusions and hypocrisies to form their own cult organizations with them in control with no integrity and no accountability — knowing perfectly well that what they taught was pure unadulterated recycled swill.

As the realization of this dawns, you can rest assured that there is not one shred of possibility to trust these men. None. You cannot trust them. They are unreliable. They just make up stuff. What’s so maddening is that we all can prove that they just make up stuff which has no reality whatsoever and they can perfectly well ignore the dissidents. In some cases, they even threaten those who tell the truth. They have a lot of incentive to keep the lies in place. It is their ego, their salary and their retirement. It is their power base.

And so it is no stretch of the imagination at all and take does not take a rocket scientist or nuclear physicist (with a real PhD and experience working with the HADRON collider) to understand that this is all going to continue into 2013. They will lie to you and take your money.

These are the trends we think we see.

Nevertheless, if you are a member in the Armstrongist churches of God, you may just want to do yourself a favor and skip 2013.

Sourcecode

In this article which is 11 years expired, notice what happens to the links when all their prophecies turn to shit….

Herbert Armstrong can be seen as bad source code of particularly malicious aggressive religious malware, difficult to detect and even more difficult to remove.

 On the False Prophet Ronald Weinland blog, an anonymous contributor commented:

I am ashamed for becoming caught up in this. I am very naive and trusting, and was really hoping for a better more just world, and excited to have a sound framework to live by. But that leaves people open for being taken advantage of. I have learned now to be yourself and trust your instincts no matter what anyone says, I just hope it is not too late to rebuild a life.

 Those of us who have been infected with the Armstrongism malware understand and empathize with this perspective. We can heartily recommend Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias from Bay Tree Publishing as a recovery and guard against cult malware. It has the best in-depth coverage of the religious cult malware of any resource and can serve to inoculate unwary users from the nasty effects of religious malpractice hackers, such as Roderick Meredith, Dennis Luker, Jim Franks and others dedicated to spreading debilitating religious viruses and worms to the public.

The original source code for this religious malware stems from Herbert Armstrong, who used snippets of script from various religious hackers of previous decades and centuries. He was no Biblical coding expert, but he was able to cut and paste from various illicit sources like some novice teenager unqualified to produce viable products but plagiarized source in order to create havoc and chaos. Although, at first, he set upon his discoveries in the Portland Public Library, his repertoire, as we will see later, was built upon a foundation of another whose influence can be seen in his works and was expanded by the pseudo-intellectual, Dr. Herman Hoeh.

Some may wonder how the Source Code is built. It’s not that difficult to understand, even for the naive novice unfamiliar with the processes to create illegitimate applications destructive to their users. The basic process is to build on snippets that are created out of the imagination. Once someone creates the snippet, another comes along and quotes the first “creator”. Then the first creator quotes the second source, forming a double-bond of self-referential substantiation with no substance at all. This is scalable to a much larger community of sources.

John D. Keyser at Mysteries of the Bible website, in the article The Coronation Stone — Jeremiah in Ireland, debunks the whole idea of Jeremiah being in Ireland, ably assisted by Dr. Greg Doudna’s Showdown at Big Sandy: Youthful Creativity Confronts Bureaucratic Inertia At An Unconventional Bible College in East Texas. John Keyser debunks the myth that Jeremiah was in Ireland, establishing that the premise that he  (in the company of his scribe Baruch) took King Zedekiah’s daughter to Ireland where she founded a line of Davidic kings that has continued on down to this day. It never happened. Herbert Armstrong wrote in The United States and British Commonwealth in Prophecy wrote:

Then, in 569 B.C. (date of Jeremiah’s transplanting), an elderly, white-haired patriarch, sometimes referred to as a “saint,” came to Ireland. With him was the princess daughter of an eastern king and a companion called “Simon Brach,” spelled in different histories as Breck, Berech, Brach, or Berach. The princess had a Hebrew name Tephi — a pet name — her full name being TEA-TEPHI.

Modern literature of those who recognize our national identity has confused this Tea-Tephi, a daughter of Zedekiah, with an earlier Tea, a daughter of Ith, who lived in the days of David.

This royal party included the son of the king of Ireland who had been in Jerusalem at the time of the siege. There he had become acquainted with Tea-Tephi. He married her shortly after 585 — when the city fell. Their young son, now about 12 years of age, accompanied them to Ireland. Besides the royal family, Jeremiah brought with them some remarkable things, including a harp, AN ARK, and a wonderful STONE CALLED “LIA-FAIL,” or “STONE OF DESTINY.”

….many kings in the history of Ireland, Scotland, and England have been coronated over this stone — including the present queen. The stone rests today in Westminster Abbey in London, and the coronation chair is built over and around it. A sign beside it labels it “Jacob’s pillar-stone” (Gen. 28:18).

The royal husband of the Hebrew princess Tea was given the TITLE HERREMON upon ascending the throne of his father. This Herremon has usually been confused with a much earlier Gede the Herremon in David’s day — who married his uncle Ith’s daughter Tea. The son of this later king Herremon and Hebrew princess continued on the throne of Ireland and THIS SAME DYNASTY CONTINUED UNBROKEN through all the kings of Ireland; was OVERTURNED and transplanted again in Scotland; again OVERTURNED and moved to London, England, where this same dynasty continues today in the reign of Queen Elizabeth II….

In view of the linking together of biblical history, prophecy, and Irish history, can anyone deny that this Hebrew princess was the daughter of King Zedekiah of Judah and therefore heir to the throne of David? 

Well, yes we can!

It’s all nonsense.

Here’s the answer from John D. Keyser:

No References! In preparation for the writing of this article, and several others on the royal house of Britain, I searched out and read literally DOZENS of books written by British-Israelites in order to more accurately understand the BASIS for the Jeremiah/Tea-Tephi legend so eloquently penned by Herbert Armstrong. I also consulted primary and secondary sources on the Irish and Scottish annals.

To my surprise, I found that the British-Israelite books all REPEAT the same Tea-Tephi story (with slight variations), each aggressively claiming that the story is found in the ancient annals. In my research I have NOT FOUND a single British-Israelite book that actually gives a REFERENCE to WHERE in the Irish and Scottish annals the supporting material may be found! Armstrong’s booklet does not — nor does Joseph Allen’s earlier book on the subject.

As also discovered by Greg Doudna (former Ambassador College student, now with the Department of Near Eastern Studies at Cornell University), “they all seem to draw from previous British-Israel writings. They speak so confidently it sounds like there must be something in the annals to which they refer. The NAMES mentioned in the Tea-Tephi legend appear in the annals, true enough, but I have discovered they are TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSONS IN THE ANNALS than the British-Israel legend makes them out to be. The annals simply don’t say what the British-Israel literature, or the Worldwide Church of God, SAY they say. It is a LEGEND that someone somewhere within British-Israel circles began, stated it as fact, and it has been repeated as fact within British-Israel circles ever since, down to the present day in which the Worldwide Church of God repeats it to millions. It may make an interesting story, but IT IS COMPLETELY FABRICATED.” (“Afterword on British-Israelism”, p. 121).

 The bottom line here is that one “expert” historian quotes another and that one quotes the first and a third one quotes the previous two and so on and so forth. It’s like an urban legend where you can never find the original source. Scratch that — it’s not like an urban legendit is an urban legend. This is a #1 law for religious malware: If you don’t have the source, just make something up, then find someone else to quote you and then quote that as a legitimate source to make the whole thing legitimate. No dishonesty has been harmed in the making of the myth.

British Israelism is another example of this phenomenon. As nearly all Armstrongists know by this time, originally — and though there may have been a few others who threw around the idea previously — Richard Brothers was the primary source of British Israelism. Oh sure, there were predecessors as is told by The True and Noble Origins of the Anglo-Israel Message, but Richard Brothers was a focal point, with his first publication, released in 1794, The Revealed Knowledge of the Prophecies & Times. The prologue had this to say:

First wrote under the direction of the LORD GOD & published by His Sacred Command, it being the first sign of Warning for the Benefit of all Nations; Containing with other great and remarkable things not revealed to any other Person on Earth, the Restoration of the Hebrews to Jerusalem by the year 1798 under their revealed Prince and Prophet. London, Printed in the year of Christ, 1794.

He only had 4 years to wait before his prophecy failed. The rest of us have had to wait a lot longer.

It should be noted that Richard Brothers, in connection with his odd ideas of British Israelism, was committed to an insane asylum as being a danger to himself and others. Thus it is that British Israelism was popularized by a kook madman.

It took John Harden Allen with his Judah’s Scepter and Joseph’s Birthright published in 1902 to truly give Herbert Armstrong the fodder he needed as he preached the True Gospel as The End Time Apostle and Great False Prophet, the source code basis for the Key to Prophecy. Low and behold, major portions of it were plagiarized for The United States and British Commonwealth in Prophecy, all of which has the curious propensity to prompt us to recall the riddle posed by Professor Maximillian Arturo, played by John Rhys-Davies, in the science fiction television show, Sliders:

Why doesn’t the sun set on the British Empire?

Because God can’t trust the British in the dark!

British Israelism was the source code to set the stage for the angst ridden prophecies of hyperbole, aptly described in the November-December 2012 Church of God Seventh Day Bible Advocate article, It’s Doomsday Again!

Written into the folk memory of all peoples is the concept of an “end”. It may be a subconscious memory of the worldwide destruction of the great Flood. But disasters do happen and failed predictions of such an end abound.

The article notes:

Such fearsome factors can be found in Scripture and are highlighted by most who write about prophecy, often with a barely suppressed sense of glee!

As it turns out, fear of gloom and doom are big business:

Many prophecy buffs are excited by the thought of the end.

If you are still wondering about the source code which produced Herbert Armstrong, one might consider “Questions and Answers” in the latest Bible Advocate:

Andrew N. Dugger became editor of the Bible Advocate magazine in 1914 and a popular president of the General Conference (1921-27; 29-30). He injected futurism into the Church’s prophetic interpretation, and championed futurist doctrine amid the controversy that led to the 1933 division between Stanberry and Salem.

In Summary, Elder Dugger believed 1) the two-horned beast would be a revival Roman Church, enforcing its mark of Sunday keeping on Sabbath observers; 2) the Church of God’s main task was to give the third angel’s message, warning believers against the mark of the beast; 3) the seven plagues were literal and future judgments upon those who received the mark; 4) the giving of the third angel’s message and the outpouring of the plagues would lead to Christ’s return; and 5) Christ’s descent from heaven to receive His kingdom would occur in the midst of Armageddon.

Elder Dugger’s argument for the imminent fulfillment of his end-time prophecies in the 1920s, 30s and 40s led the Church to become disinterested in his failed version of them. For more than a generation, the Church struggled to recapture its true mission to preach salvation in Christ and His grace alone, rather than serve as a prognosticator of events.

The Church’s return to its heritage of preaching Christ and His advent without enigmatic add-ons was reflected in its doctrinal revisions of 1994 and 2006, which dropped the futurist predictions and suppositions that prevailed for much of the past century.

Elder Robert Coulter

It is difficult to imagine that the fiery preachments of Andrew N. Dugger did not impress the impressionable Herbert Armstrong as he began on his quest for ministerial truth. The extremism of futurist ideas of Andrew Dugger impressed on Armstrong’s impressionable young mind was enough to provide the source code upon which to build the religious malware foundation of the heretical extreme cult religion. Apparently, the Church of God Seventh Day eventually outgrew it, while Armstrongists remained trapped in the eternal childishness of seeking the thrills of thinking they have special knowledge of what comes next. This foolishness has spun off over 700 versions of the original malware, just waiting to infect the uninoculated unsuspecting innocent.

Protect yourself: Prevent damage by avoiding downloading any more malware from the Internet pages of the UCG, LCG, CoGWA and the whole host of religious malware servers.

And for heaven’s sake, don’t allow them to charge for the service.