And so it begins: We don’t care, we don’t have to — we’re the ministers!
You lost your job; you’re struggling to exist? We don’t care, we don’t have to — we’re the ministers! Now send in more money so we can keep our elite privileges of easy living with our Luxury Fund.
You desperately need transportation to get to work? You need new clothes because you are threadbare? You need health care you can’t afford? We don’t care, we don’t have to — we’re the ministers! Now send in more money so we can keep our elite privileges of easy living with our Luxury Fund.
You face retirement and don’t have enough? We don’t care, we don’t have to — we’re the ministers! Now send in more money so we can keep our elite privileges of easy living with our Luxury Fund — we have our own retirement to worry about.
Any problem you face, from having mentally ill teenagers, to having a teen pregnant out of wedlock, to having to live in a poor neighborhood threatened by crime? We don’t care, we don’t have to — we’re the ministers! Now send in more money so we can keep our elite privileges of easy living with our Luxury Fund.
The ministers live a life of power and privilege not accorded to the average person in the congregation. The ministers never have to pay more than one tithe: Their feasts are paid for by you, the Prole at the bottom; their homes are paid for by you, the peasant; their fleet autos are paid for by you, the untouchable. You are lower than the low. You are worth nothing. You deserve nothing. You only exist to provide for those in the lofty castes above you. Know your place: You are nothing like the ministers who are so far superior to you in every way, led from the top by the all glorious grand leader of your cult religion.
We don’t care, we don’t have to — we’re the ministers!
You need to care about us! It is your destiny! Make every sacrifice so we don’t have to make any sacrifice.
An anonymous commenter at Banned! says:
In the early 1980s, when I was attending Worldwide in Pasadena, I was hit with a stomach virus and couldn’t seem to shake it after a pretty rough couple of days. I regained enough strength to make a trip to the store for some Pepto, juice, etc. and decided to stop at the Hall of Administration to be anointed. It was a Friday afternoon.
I entered the local church office and was face to face with one of the pastors who now chairs the council of elders of one of the splinters. He was dressed casually and was sitting on the corner of a desk in the lobby, talking to someone in a side office. I knew him, said hello, told him I’d been ill and asked to be anointed. I was shocked at his response. He said they were getting ready to leave for a department camping trip that afternoon and that he was too busy, and referred me to the Church Administration office upstairs. I stared at him for a moment with, I’m sure, a look of disbelief on my face. He just looked back at me. I thought, we’re supposed to call on the elders of the church, and that’s what I’m doing, so there’s no way he could be saying no, is there? So I asked again if he could just take a minute to do this for me. He reiterated that he was too busy but that someone upstairs would be able to help. He was doing nothing, just sitting there shooting the breeze with someone else in the office. Even the look on his face let me know that he couldn’t be bothered with my request. I was stunned. I turned around slowly and left.
I very nearly walked out of the building and out of the church. Instead I went upstairs to the Church Administration office, and was able to be anointed. But the attitude of that Pasadena “pastor” was not lost on me. It was, from my experience, consistent with the attitudes of so many pastors and Pasadena department heads who regularly lorded over people with a lofty view of their titles and offices.
Over the years I began to realize that it was not possible to separate such attitudes from the doctrines and practices taught by HWA and Co. The hierarchy, the control, the capriciousness, and the downright shoddy scholarship had everything to do with what was taught and why. It appears that it continues today, which I guess shouldn’t come as a surprise. Personally, I moved on 20 years ago. It’s sad to see that people remain under the grip of such controlling tactics in the various COG organizations.
Don’t bother us — we’re busy! We are so important that you need to drop everything for what we need and want because nothing you do has any importance in the scheme of things at all.
All of Armstrongism is a failed experiment: The caste system is unChristian, artificially promoting stratification of social classes where the elite does not care because it does not have to.
Effective immediately, all members of the church are to install the Slaver App on their cell phones, smart phones, tablets and personal computers. This App will track all activities and accounts of all members in real time and will send the data to our servers to be analyzed by an artificial intelligence. All members will be tracked 24 hours a day, seven days a week. GPS coordinates will be analyzed to determine location and determine the speed of the vehicle driven by the member. This information will be gathered and stored permanently.
We are taking these measures because as your leaders we have a responsibility to insure that all things are done decently and in order because God is not the Author of confusion. We do this also because we have the power of God and you are our servants in the unpaid employ of our church corporate. As our employees, you have absolutely no rights — as Gerald Flurry wisely disclosed in a sermon at Quincy, Washington when he was a minister of the Worldwide Church of God: “No one has any rights”. Residents of the United States need to be reprised that the Fourth Amendment does not apply to them as de facto employees of the cult because our Kingdom is out of this world. As a separate political entity, you live under our Law, not the law of the land. You must obey us as God and not obey men. You are all living sacrifices and we own you. You only have the freedom to do what we tell you to do.
credit card tracking
The Slaver App will track all your accounts to determine your income and the amount you give to our cult as a percentage of your income. We are tapped into your employer’s servers and so we will know what your gross income is. If we find that you are not giving enough to our Work, we will automatically transfer money from your accounts to our own through our automated system. Furthermore, if we determine that you have not given enough money for offerings at Holyday services, your money will be automatically be transferred to us in the proper amount. All services, conventions, studies and gatherings will be monitored through GPS and attendance will be mandatory. If you do not attend, we will determine where you are instead and money will be transferred to our accounts in response to your non responsiveness. When there is a crisis in the Work, such as a need for the wife of the leader to buy underwear from Victoria’s Secret, a need to buy BMWs for family members of the leader or to pay for a luxury cruise, to travel to Las Vegas or Hawaii for recreation, money will automatically transferred from your accounts to pay for whatever the leader wants or desires. For those with smart watches monitoring vitals, the heart rate will be monitored to determine if there is a cessation of a heartbeat for 6 minutes, at which time ALL your money will be transferred to the Work. Since you will be dead, waiting for the resurrection where you will be under our thumb for all eternity, there will be no need for you to worry about such things as funeral expenses. Let the dead bury their dead. Some how your body will be taken care of. We don’t worry about such piddling physical things.
On the Sabbath, we will track your activities to determine whether or not you have gone out to eat at a restaurant. If our sect allows eating out at a restaurant on the Sabbath and we determine that you have passed up the opportunity to get together with other members at a restaurant, we will transfer money out of your accounts immediately after the Sabbath. If we do NOT allow eating out at restaurants on the Sabbath and your GPS indicates you are, money will be transferred out of your accounts, and, in particular, we will max out your credit cards so you can’t possibly pay for the meal, so if you do the wrong thing, be prepared with enough cash in hand to pay for your ill gotten food and drink.
Slave App Developer
Our App will also transfer itself to other smart phones around you by cloning itself. It is undetectable and embeds itself in the firmware of the hardware, so it is impossible to remove as a rootkit by even the most advanced CIA level anti spyware. It does this in order to track potential members of our church by determining what their likes and interests are so we can carry on a social media campaign to appeal to their particular desires. We will also send emails to appeal to them. The emails are generated in such a way that they will escape detection by any and all spam filters. Eventually, we will win out and triumph over any resistance by prospective members, enabling our cult to grow exponentially. It is also the case that we will track your GPS in conjunction with those infected with our malware so that if you associate with those we deem undesirables, you will be warned and penalized appropriately by a transfer of your funds to our own. Do not worry about installing the App if you have received any emails from the church: It installs itself as soon as you open any of our emails.
If you rebel against us and attempt to leave us, you will find that you are permanently tethered to us for we will continue to tap into your funds whether you are with us or not. You will also find that upon being disfellowshipped, the App will automatically mark you by sending emails to members warning that they are not to have contact with you. If they do have contact with you, the App will track that and disfellowship them. We strictly enforce the non contact rule even if involves family members or even your own spouse. Even though you may expect to ‘repent’ and be accepted back, you will not because you have broken our trust and we just can never bring ourselves to associate with you again.
Some of you now work for nursing homes. You are to stop doing this immediately because demons infest old people in nursing homes. You must stop working for the facilities even if you cannot support yourself any other way. Rules are rules. If you violate our arbitrary rules, the GPS will be tracked and we will know. If you do not quit soon enough, GPS will track this along with your financial accounts and you will be disfellowshipped.
We can also determine what stores and outlets you frequent. If we determine that you have been buying too much from certain stores which are associated with entertainment, we will penalize you and even get your credit cards cancelled. You are to give yourself entirely to our social group and not to entertain or enjoy yourself.
We are also tapped into your health records. We know what’s wrong with you. We expect you to come to us for anointing for any maladies you have and not rely on doctors. We will know if you are taking prescription medicines and we will put a stop to it immediately. Your accounts will also be charged. Any operation you have will indicate that you do not have the true faith and you will be disfellowshipped. If you depend upon the kindness of other members to help you pursue medical treatment forget it. None of them are really your friends: They are merely other employees of our church corporate and once you are shunned they will betray and abandon you. We have complete control of your life.
Beware. If you work for a military contractor, our App will catch you. You are not to work for any business which provides for the military even if it’s a cafeteria service, nor are you to work for any business which does business with a business that does business with the military. You will be sorry. We will demand you quit. It’s better to obey our arbitrary rules than to be able to feed yourself.
Speaking of military, we remind you that none of you may join the Armed Forces. All males aged 18 to 25 in the United States must register with the Selective Service. Those who do must declare themselves as conscientious objectors. We will track you with the GPS in your smart phone to insure that you do not visit a military recruiter. You must remain a non combative conscientious objector at all costs, even if you may have to do alternative service in a low paying public service job. Of course, all our ministers are automatically exempted from military service. By virtue of the fact that you are not willing to fight for your country, our church views you as unpatriotic and, as such, we look down on you: You will be sanctioned for being unpatriotic and will be treated as traitors — you are considered the lowest of the low among church members and if you ever serve alternative service with us, you will be treated as abject slaves, doing scut work long hours for less than minimum wage. While you are in this alternative service with us, you will not be able to date any coeds of our college where you serve and will be a pariah at socials. You must live in a separate compound by yourself and will not reside in any church related housing. You will not be allowed to potlucks and church socials. You are damaged goods, unpatriotic traitors, and you will be marked for the rest of your life. If you raise any objections concerning your treatment, you will be fired and sent to prison as deserters.
We track everything you do. The App surreptitiously turns your smart phone camera without any indication to watch and listen to what you are doing, even in the bedroom. We advise you to only use the two cult approved positions. Some of our technology is based on Stingray surveillance devices. A previous version of Slaver App Tracking 24 by 7 has been use by business employers to track employee activities even when they were not ‘on the job’. It is very effective.
We expect you to believe everything we tell you exactly. If you think that we seem to violate reality it is just an illusion and you would be wrong to question us in any way. Our App will follow all of your research. It records your Google searches. It analyzes the books you read online and what books you order from Amazon.com. We know when you read pages from anti Armstrongist blogs and websites. Any breach of our proscriptions will be met with immediate penalties. You get the truth from us and no one else.
Slave App on Smart Phone
We monitor all your conversations and our artificial intelligence on our servers analyze all of them for appropriateness.
The latest feature has been added to the App: The dating module. This module connects young single maidens to old bachelors for purposes of dating so the bachelors can select the one that appeals to him the most for marriage. No young woman will be permitted to refuse any advances.
Be warned that no one is exempt from the Slaver App except for the leader.
The New Testament claims that Christ lives within Christians. The Apostle Paul said to follow him as he followed Christ. We are to be like Christ. It is with this in mind that we choose to examine the character, behavior and personalities of the leaders in the Armstrongist community to find out what Jesus was really like.
First we examine Roderick Meredith. He sprang from Worldwide and formed the Global Church of God. He committed to abide by the decisions of his council of elders. He became miffed with them, left Global, bankrupting it in the process and defying the council, lying and breaking his word. Add to this that he has been a false prophet for at least 60 years and we have a more or less complete picture of Jesus based on the example of Roderick Meredith.
By this we can infer that Jesus is a vain arrogant liar who doesn’t keep his promises and does not work well with others. By this token, it would also be established that Jesus was a false prophet as ‘that prophet’ which we take to mean ‘that darn prophet’ or, if we were to believe Deuteronomy 18, ‘that damned prophet’.
Which brings us to today’s ‘that prophet’ Gerald Flurry. He claims to be Christ walking around in the flesh. What better place to learn what Jesus was really like than to actually follow the behavior of Gerald Flurry? Based on his being a false prophet, being rather toxic by his ‘no contact rule’ of people who don’t sit well with him, we can assume that Jesus, if not a beer bibber, was at least a wine bibber, a false prophet (there it is again), making claims to be something he can never be and treating people like worthless crap. We also would find Jesus something of a spend thrift, using other people’s money for self-aggrandizement in a building program not well funded with very little to show for it. Jesus said he would rebuild the Temple in three days. Gosh, it’s taken Flurry a lot longer than that and it seems to have cost a lot more. Will the loan be paid off for Ambassador Auditorium in our life time. If Jesus were like Gerald Flurry, he wouldn’t much care because it’s not his money, even though Flurry claims that tithes are God’s money that is to be given to Flurry — and a lot more besides. By that measure, Jesus is greedy. Flurry also claims to have ‘won’ the court case for the copyrights of the Worldwide Church of God when, in fact, he paid millions to get possession. So Jesus violates copyright laws, takes intellectual property without proper attribution, is near criminal but has bragging rights to literature he never wrote. I’m not liking this Jesus much up to this point based on the bad example of the Armstrongist leaders, but we have two more to go, so things may get better and straighten themselves out.
Straighten things out. Straighten things out. This brings us to Ronald Weinland. He is now serving a prison sentence for felony tax evasion and things will be straightened out in less than a year from now when he gets out of prison. How time flies. Ronald Weinland angered the Jury with his arrogance at trial. He thought he could spend tithe money any which way he wanted for his Luxury Fund. He bought three BMWs for his and his family’s personal use. He went on cruises during a financial crisis for his cult. He has a track record of being an insane lying false prophet psychopath. Gee, I’m liking this Jesus even less now — avaricious, prodigal, false prophet (again!), a man who angers people who want the truth, unjust and a criminal. If we were to assume that Ronald Weinland represents Christ then Jesus is definitely a felon. Several times over. Well, at least Jesus doesn’t have a penchant for Steuben Crystal.
David Pack represents Jesus. We know this because Pack told us so. He is the only one who has the truth. We know this because he told us so. David Pack also told us a while back that on a certain date, 3 leaders of prominent Armstrongist cult sects would die and all the members of the Cult of Herbert Armstrong Mafia would migrate en masse to David Pack’s compound, the Restored Church of God. He was rather nasty about it and supremely confident. It didn’t happen, of course, making him not just a false prophet, but making him a delusional false prophet. David Pack is also quite Draconian to his membership and those working for them. They provide him money and adulation — anything else, he doesn’t care about them — and he doesn’t particularly care if they are collateral damage in his little kingdom compound. He also considers himself as the greatest man who has ever lived. Many believe that he doesn’t take hot showers for fear he’ll steam up the mirror. He is extremely harsh and dismissive. Given all this, we should expect that Jesus practically hates his followers (as well as the rest of the world). Jesus doesn’t really care about others: Jesus is all about Jesus. We can ascertain that Jesus is also a delusional false prophet (that about nails it!) and we can’t possibly trust one thing he says. Jesus sees himself as the best and is totally devoid of any shred of humility.
We should not be at all surprised. Herbert Armstrong represented Christ. After all, he signed his letters “In Jesus’ Name” even if the letter was all about a prophecy that proved false later on (and sometimes false at the time the letter was written). Herbert Armstrong was vain, arrogant, had a nasty temper. Think of the example that sets in relationship to representing Jesus. Moreover, Herbert Armstrong committed incest with his daughter for 10 years as he began his ministry. This means that he did not know right from wrong. Even isolated societies across millennia never permitted such things, let alone celebrate someone who did such things as a guru, prophet or shaman. Herbert Armstrong could not even approach the morals, ethics and mores of society because he was totally warped and twisted. His evil caused a role reversal where his daughter became his ‘wife’ and his wife became the child. This is so perverse as to be beyond words to convey. Based on this terrible example, we would expect Jesus to be a vile pervert who could not be trusted even with his own family. He would be expected to betray people, especially his followers who trusted and relied on them. He would be expected to promote role reversals where the minister became the served and the members became the minister to serve him instead of the other way around. Herbert Armstrong was also an alcoholic boozer. He didn’t follow the rules he imposed on others, having eaten a donut and consumed a cup of coffee on the Day of Atonement ‘to keep up his strength’. He had armed body guards to protect him as he left his limo to go to the lectern at the Feast. He lived in luxury at the expense of others giving him blood money. With this, we expect Jesus to be a warped toxic demigod, subsumed with lusts and desires for nice things at the expense of others, addicted to alcohol, expecting to be served by his followers, above it all, violating all the rules at a whim, being quite arbitrary and totally unconcerned for his own family he saw only as a narcissistic source.
Somewhere in all this, that Jesus is about Redemption through his sacrifice to bring people to God the Father through self-sacrifice for eternal life has been lost. Also something about “Thou Shalt Not Take My Name In Vain” has lost momentum.
You must admit though, that as a talisman, Jesus has provided Armstrongist cult leaders with a heck of a good living at the expense of others.
