The Pastor General’s Song

The Pastor General’s Song



Based on The Major-General’s Song, from The Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert and Sullivan.




I am a very model of a modern Pastor General,
Which I will be forever as my office is perennial!

I know the other splinters and tell them they’re heretical,
From ABC to UCG, I denounce in words hysterical,

I proved that I am on the top in ranking hierarchical,
The splinter leaders’ titles I find to be most farcical!

As number one in leadership, from early this centennial,
I am the very muddle of a modern Pastor General!

I’ve information I confuse by making facts statistical,
And when accused of doing this I tend to go ballastical,

When challenged by a writer who thinks he is prophetical,
I simply toss his words around and say that he’s pathetical!

By crying out the other COGs are soon to be ephemeral,
I showed I am the very model of a muddled Pastor General!