Thirtieth. Neither is it probable that God really wrestled with Jacob and put his thigh out of joint, and that for that reason the Jews refused “to eat the sinew that shrank,” as recounted in the thirty-second chapter of Genesis; that God in the likeness of a flame inhabited a bush; that he amused himself by changing the rod of Moses into a serpent, and making his hand leprous as snow.
Thirty-first. One can scarcely be blamed for hesitating to believe that God met Moses at a hotel and tried to kill him; [Ex. iv, 24.] that afterward he made this same Moses a god to Pharaoh, and gave him his brother Aaron for a prophet; [Ex. vii, 1.] that he turned all the ponds and pools and streams and all the rivers into blood, [Ex. viii, 19.] and all the water in vessels of wood and stone; that the rivers thereupon brought forth frogs; [Ex. viii, 3 that the frogs covered the whole land of Egypt; that he changed dust into lice, so that all the men, women, children, and animals were covered with them; [Ex. viii, 16, 17.] that he sent swarms of flies upon the Egyptians; [Ex. viii, 21.] that he destroyed the innocent cattle with painful diseases; that he covered man and beast with blains and boils; [Ex. ix, 9.] that he so covered the magicians of Egypt with boils that they could not stand before Moses for the purpose of performing the same feat; [Ex. xii, 11.] that he destroyed every beast and every man that was in the fields, and every herb, and broke every tree with storm of hail and fire; [Ex. ix, 25.] that he sent locusts that devoured every herb that escaped the hail, and devoured every tree that grew; [Ex. x, 15.] that he caused thick darkness over the land and put lights in the houses of the Jews; [Ex. x, 22, 23.] that he destroyed all of the firstborn of Egypt, from the firstborn of Pharaoh upon the throne to the firstborn of the maidservant that sat behind the mill, [Ex. xi, 5.] together with the firstborn of all beasts, so that there was not a house in which the dead were not. [Ex. xii, 29.]
Thirty-second. It is very hard to believe that three millions of people left a country and marched twenty or thirty miles all in one day. To notify so many people would require a long time, and then the sick, the halt, and the old would be apt to impede the march. It seems impossible that such a vast number — six hundred thousand men, besides women and children — could have been cared for, could have been fed and clothed, and the sick nursed, especially when we take into consideration that “they were thrust out of Egypt, and could not tarry, neither had they prepared for themselves any victual.” [Ex. xii, 37-39.]
Thirty-third. It seems cruel to punish a man forever for denying that God went before the Jews by day “in a pillar of a cloud to lead them the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light to go by day and night,” or for denying that Pharaoh pursued the Jews with six hundred chosen chariots, and all the chariots of Egypt, and that the six hundred thousand men of war of the Jews were sore afraid when they saw the pursuing hosts. It does seems strange that after all the water in a country had been turned to blood — after it had been overrun with frogs and devoured with flies; after all the cattle had died with the murrain, and the rest had been killed by the fire and hail and the remainder had suffered with boils, and the firstborn of all that were left had died; that after locusts had devoured every herb and eaten up every tree of the field, and the firstborn had died, from the firstborn of the king on the throne to the firstborn of the captive in the dungeon; that after three millions of people had left, carrying with them the jewels of silver and gold and the raiment of their oppressors, the Egyptians still had enough soldiers and chariots and horses left to pursue and destroy an army of six hundred thousand men, if God had not interfered.
Thirty-fourth. It certainly ought to satisfy God to torment a man for four or five thousand years for insisting that it is but a small thing for an infinite being to vanquish an Egyptian army; that it was rather a small business to trouble people with frogs, flies, and vermin; that it looked almost malicious to cover people with boils and afflict cattle with disease; that a real good God would not torture innocent beasts on account of something the owners had done; that it was absurd to do miracles before a king to induce him to act in a certain way, and then harden his heart so that he would refuse; and that to kill all the firstborn of a nation was the act of a heartless fiend.
Thirty-fifth. Certainly one ought to be permitted to doubt that twelve wells of water were sufficient for three millions of people, together with their flocks and herds [Ex. xv, 27.] and to inquire a little into the nature of manna that cooked by baking and seething and yet would melt in sun, [Ex. xvi, 23, 21.] and that would swell or shrink so as to make an exact omer, no matter how much or how little there really was. [Ex. xix, 12.] Certainly it is not a crime to say that water cannot be manufactured by striking a rock with a stick, and that the fate of battle cannot be decided by lifting one hand up or letting it fall. [Ex. xvii, 11, 12.] Must we admit that God really did come down upon Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people; that he commanded that all who should go up into the Mount or touch the border of it should be put to death, and that even the beasts that came near it should be killed? [Ex. xix, 12, 13.] Is it wrong to laugh at this? Is it Sinful to say that God never spoke from the top of a mountain covered with clouds these words to Moses, “Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the Lord to gaze, and many of them perish; and let the priests also, which come near to Lord, sanctify themselves, lest the Lord break forth upon them”? [Ex. xix, 21, 22.] Can it be that an infinite intelligence takes delight in scaring savages, and that he is happy only when somebody trembles? Is it reasonable to suppose that God surrounded himself with thunderings and lightnings and thick darkness to tell the priests that they should not make altars of hewn stones, nor with stairs? [Ex. xix, 25, 26.] And that this God at the same time he gave the Ten Commandments ordered the Jews to break the most of them? According to the Bible these infamous words came from the mouth of God while he was wrapped and clothed in darkness and clouds upon the Mount of Sinai:
If thou buy an Hebrew servant six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. If he came in by himself he shall go out by himself; if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master have given him a wife, and she have borne him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s, and he shall go out by himself. And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free: then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door or unto the doorpost; and his master shall bore his ear through with an awl; and he shall serve him forever. [Ex. xxi, 2-6.] And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand, he shall be surely punished. Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished; for he is his money.” [Ex. xxi, 20, 21.]
Do you really think that a man will be eternally damned for endeavoring to wipe from the record of God those barbaric words?
Thirty-sixth. Is it because of total depravity that some people refuse to believe that God went into partnership with insects and granted letters of marque and reprisal to hornets; [Ex. xxiii, 28.] that he wasted forty days and nights furnishing Moses with plans and specifications for a tabernacle, an ark, a mercy seat and two cherubs of gold, a table, four rings, some dishes and spoons, one candlestick, three bowls, seven lamps, a pair of tongs, some snuff dishes (for all of which God had patterns), ten curtains with fifty loops, a roof for the tabernacle of rams’ skins dyed red, a lot of boards, an altar with horns, ash pans, basins, and flesh hooks, and fillets of silver and pins of brass; that he told Moses to speak unto all the wise-hearted that he had filled with wisdom, that they might make a suit of clothes for Aaron, and that God actually gave directions that an ephod “shall have the two shoulder-pieces thereof joined at the two edges thereof,” and gave all the orders concerning mitres, girdles, and onyx stones, ouches, emeralds, breastplates, chains, rings, Urim and Thummim, and the hole in the top of the ephod like the hole of a habergeon? [Ex. xxvii and xxviii.]
Thirty-seventh. Is there a Christian missionary who could help laughing if in any heathen country he had seen the following command of God carried out? “And thou shalt take the other ram; and Aaron and his sons shall put their hands upon the head of the ram. Then shalt thou kill the ram and take of his blood and put it upon the tip of the right ear of Aaron, and upon the tip of the right ear of his sons, and upon the thumb of their right hand, and upon the great toe of their right foot. [Ex. xxix, 19, 20.] Does one have to be born again to appreciate the beauty and solemnity of such a performance? Is not the faith of the most zealous Christian somewhat shaken while reading the recipes for cooking mutton, veal, beef, birds, and unleavened dough, found in the cook book that God made for Aaron and his sons?
Thirty-eighth. Is it to be wondered at that some people have doubted the statement that God told Moses how to make some ointment, hair oil, and perfume, and then made it a crime punishable with death to make any like them ? Think of a God killing a man for imitating his ointment! [Ex. xxx, 23.] Think of a God saying that be made heaven and earth in six days and rested on the seventh day and was refreshed! [Ex. xxxi, 17.] Think of this God threatening to destroy the Jews, and being turned from his purpose because Moses told him that the Egyptians might mock him! [Ex. xxxii, 11, 12.]
Thirty-ninth. What must we think of a man impudent enough to break in pieces tables of stone upon which God had written with his finger? What must we think of the goodness of a man that would issue the following order: “Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor. Consecrate yourselves to-day to the Lord, even every man upon his son, and upon his brother; that he may bestow upon you a blessing this day”? [Ex. xxxii, 27-29.] Is it true that the God of the Bible demanded human sacrifice? Did it please him for man to kill his neighbor, for brother to murder his brother, and for the father to butcher his son? If there is a God let him cause it to be written in the book of his memory, opposite my name, that I refuted this slander and denied this lie.