To the tune of As Someday it May Happen (I’ve Got a Little List) from The Mikado, Gilbert and Sullivan.
As someday it will happen that some changes must be made,
Just make a little list, you need a little list,
Of unimportant doctrines to rest that can be laid,
And they never need be missed, deny that they exist!
And there’re doctrinal anomalies
That New Truth can correct,
Forgotten dogma you can seize
And put in full effect.
There’s the ever-changing makeup rule
When duplicity’s your game,
And if one day you must retool
Have someone else to blame!
And there are rules like tithing
That you must never touch,
(Just have a special offering
When you want such-and-such.)
But it really doesn’t matter
What you put upon your list,
As long as you persist,
The longer you’ll exist!
Whatever’s on your list
As long you persist
The longer you’ll exist!
How often they must cut their hair
How short a skirt can be
How long to make a closing prayer,
With one statement, two, or three.
If it is “Mister” to a Pastor
Even if he’s half their age;
If giving help in a disaster
Is a misuse of their wage.
Where you want to hold the Feast
And who can give a sermon;
Who to say will be The Beast
(As long as he’s a German.)
So it really doesn’t matter
What’s on or off your list,
As long as you insist
That they obey the list!
As long as you insist
And chastise those who resist
They will obey the list!
May 19 2013 will be the 40th Pentecost Sunday, as opposed to Monday, for those of the WCG persuasion – counting from 1974, inclusive.
Living in a virtual Ponderosa, I tend to do a lot of pondering. Some of the time, it’s about how a young steer is like a COG – you have to keep feeding it, and all you get for your effort is what comes out the other end. Other times it’s the ponderous polemics of Pastor-General Pack.
Recently, ponderings have been Passover to Pentecost, covenants, and how those of the remnant COGs seem to understand the Temple system, sacrifices, and the Levites. I don’t remember the theme of WCG Pentecost sermons – “theme” as the Day of Atonement sermon was always about Satan – but it was probably Firstfruits, and the beginning of “The Church”. There’s a problem with Firstfruits too, as the Day of Firstfruits is day from which the days are counted; Pentecost, or Shavuot, is a second harvest, or a second Firstfruits…
When a sermon references Acts 2, with Peter explaining he’s not drunk, ministers like to make little remarks like, it’s 9 AM, the pubs aren’t open yet. I never heard a minister explain that Peter meant it was Shacharis – morning prayers and the commencement of sacrifices at the 3rd hour. Peter and the other followers were in the Temple for Shavuot. To Jews, the “tongues” spoken on Pentecost would make them think of Sinai: by tradition, the Law was given on the first Shavuot, and it was spoken in “70 languages”.
In Acts 3, Peter and John are still going to the Temple. By the time we get to the writing of Hebrews, over 30 years have passed. Of course, WCG teaching uses Hebrews to justify tithing – the Temple and the Levitical priesthood are out, Melchizedek and the Church are in. Even biblical translators had an unwitting hand in this, playing with some of the verb tenses, which can make on-going actions appear as past – and as much as COG scholars like to refer to Greek words, I’ve never seen an attempt to correct the tense problem.
There is much more to this, but I was sidetracked by the latest instalment of the weekly RCG update. Episode 12, Haggai part 1 left me flabbergasted, and I’ve got enough flab of my own. From what it is hinting at, the Apostle Pastor-General may be about to claim he is the prophesied Joshua who is to come after Zerubbabel (assumed to have been HWA). Along a connected plot line, my suspicions are that he will say the RCG is the House of God – though more likely spiritual than physical. I’ll be waiting for the next instalment, same Pack time, same Pack channel. And I suppose it’s no surprise that the name Joshua (Yeshua in Hebrew) is derived from the verb meaning salvation, and in Greek is rendered as Jesus.
Once again, I will agree with a Pack prediction: splinter leaders will tell their sheep the prophecies cited in the instalment mean something different.
And as we are dealing with prophecy, Haggai part 1 contained an insult by omission of the good Dr T: “Recent, newer, self-appointed ‘prophets’ … on the lunatic fringe…”; “Large – Gerald Flurry. Medium – Ron Weinland. Small – not worth naming.”
Whatever’s on your list
