Herbert was a man with a big mouth and an even bigger problem. He had angered the Lord by using his hirelings to terrorize and intimidate the little ones into submission. Thus, he earned himself no small amount of divine wrath, which came in full force when God smote him down before it was time for Herbert to pass away from this world.
But just before Herbert’s end, he begot Joseph who inherited both money that would come from sheep as well as church property – all of which were stolen by none other than Herbert himself! This inheritance allowed Joseph to have some solace after his father’s passing; however, one can only imagine what would have happened if such ill-gotten wealth hadn’t been acquired through theft but instead through honest work or charity?
It is unfortunate that someone like Herbert existed at all; not only did he bring harm upon those weaker than him but also brought shame upon religion itself due its association with such unscrupulous behavior. Nonetheless, we should learn from this story: it serves as reminder that there are consequences for our actions – especially those done out of greed or malice – regardless how small they may seem in comparison with larger sins committed against God Himself…
The “New” Bible Story
Translated by: “The Scribe”
Forward
In the Year of our Lord 1999, a chance finding in a cave near Wadi Qumran north-west of the Dead Sea led to the recovery of several dozen ancient manuscripts which postdate the oldest New Testament writings known to man, by less than a century.
The discovery of these manuscripts by Dr. Fredrick Myers of the Jerusalem Archaeology Research Center reports that the find is “more important than any other find since the Dead Sea Scrolls.”
The manuscripts were found roughly three hundred yards from the Dead Sea find, in a cave, south of the 1947 site. Dr. Myers continued to explain that “The translation of these manuscripts has been synchronized by the process of a organizational yet flexible logistical study of the local customs of the area and the time in which the documents were produced.
The functional yet transitional character of the literary forms of the time show that the time-phase relates to the era of the find, thus corresponds to the validity of the manuscripts. Further, the use of modern technology was used in order to integrate the language to a digital management program that furthers the evaluation of the historical proofs of the document. Therefore translation of the several dozen manuscripts will result in a balanced, yet parallel incremental concept.”
The first installment by this process has been completed and is now available to the public.
CHAPTER ONE
1 In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth. Then God said “let my Word go forth” and the Lords Word went forth to the world. After the Word was taken into Heaven, and the Apostle John perished, the Lord pondered and said “who shall be able to preach my end-time warning message?” So the eyes of the Lord looked to and fro, over the whole earth in order to find a man that would follow faithfully, as the new Apostle. Then the Lord took notice of a silly little man named Herbert!
2 The Lord was amazed at this mans skill as a salesman, for there was none like him, not another on all the earth that knew so much about soap! And the Lord spoke saying “Now shall there be Herbert, a man after his own heart.”
3 And the Lord said unto Herbert “You shall restore MY WORD, go forth into the world and spread the Word, the Good News of salvation through my son Jesus, and preach to the ignorant heathen of the lands in which you travel.”
4 And it came to pass Herbert went forth into the world, ever learning but never deciphering. Herbert read many books that others wrote, all about God, yet never able to understand, he grew impatient with what he should believe. So Herb said “let me interpret the word of God,” and it was so.
5 Herb stayed very busy as he frantically authored many books and booklets, staying up late into the evening. When the new sheep that started to follow Herb asked “were did thou find this wisdom” and Herb (who was a high school dropout) would reply with a twinkle in his eye “the Lord God inspired me, for I will pray for a hour, study for a hour, and then meditate for a hour. Look what favor thy Lord and God has imputed to me.”
6 The sheep were very, very impressed as many could tell, by the oohs and ahhhs they uttered whenever the little man with the big mouth spoke, and they looked up to the thirteenth Apostle, for he was called and chosen of God!
7 Herbert’s favorite book was one that touted one group of people over another, a inherent raciest book called The US and Britain in Prophecy. Herbert lacking any creative abilities of his own, stole the work by a man not chosen of God, a man called Allen.
8 Over the period of many years the Lord God Almighty grew angry at the prophet, for he revealed the name of the one and only God to his daughter. For he said to his daughter “God gave you to me,” before he came unto her.
9 The Lord was also angry at Herbert for he scared his sheep silly, because year after year he uttered false, scary prophecies that harassed the sheep day and night.
10 Herbert further angered the Lord by his Hireling’s he used to terrify the little one’s unto submission. So the Lord thy God smote Herbert, but just before his time was cut short, the little man Herbert, the little man with a big mouth, begot Joseph who was to inherit the money that the sheep would give, and the church property, and along with the poor harassed sheep, the money that Herbert had stole from the sheep.
11 Now this man Joseph, the newest Apostle, being a wise Shepherd began to divide his sheep from the goats. The sheep went along faithfully not to mention blindly, unto his covering, and the goats, in their rebellion, went to the covering of a different Shepherd.
12 In prayer one day Joseph said to the Lord “what am I to do? They leave if I say this and they leave if I say that.”
13 So it came to pass that Joseph provoked the Lord to anger, and a consuming fire came from Heaven and smote Joseph for being indecisive and stupid. (Editor notes that the genealogy continued at this point, in order, with a simulacrum in the translation.)
14 Now Joseph had begot Joe who he called Jr. This Apostle, being of a higher degree of education than his father that preceded him, picked unto himself eleven other Apostles that shared his glorious vision!! These men were to lead and nurture the flock showing them the way of Righteousness.
15 And the Lord God saw Jr. and smiled saying to himself “surely Jr will do my will unlike his father and his father, Herbert.” So the Lord lovingly guided the sheep and the Shepherd, and the “Eleven.”
16 And it came to pass that all seemed well, the sky was just a tad more blue, the birds sang just a little bit louder, the trees looked a little more greener, and the sheep grinned from ear to ear for just a bit longer, and the Lord asked “what could possible go wrong with this happy, happy throng?”….
(Editor notes that in relation to the other manuscripts this was the most distinct and balanced translation using logistical and a time-phase proven processes. Further release of translated manuscripts are pending.)
Otherwise…to be continued………
CHAPTER TWO
“The Singing Apostles”
Translated by: The Scribe
Foreword by: Dr. Fredrick Myers
Dr. Fredrick Myers, B.A., B.D., M.Th., Ph.D., D.PHIL., B.Sc., a Professor at Jerusalem Archaeology Research Center is Author of “The Jesus Cults” and Senior Lecturer in Church History and Senior Resident of Interpretative Science, Jerusalem Bible College.
” So long as the Jews remained in Palestine and spoke the mother language, their was no problem in understanding the sacred scriptures. As time went by and customs changed incrementally, the interpretive skill of the ancient scribe was not at loss as to the meaning of the various dialects of the time. This presents a major problem for the modern interpreter as the manuscripts presented now, to the public, conflict with what is now known about the ancient world and the teachings of Jesus Christ. It may seem to the novice that the Dead Church Scrolls are at odds with the general conception of what life was like in those days, not to mention the teachings of Jesus, that are generally understood in a later period when the writings of Paul, Mark, Matthew, or John first appeared. The teachings contained within these newfound manuscripts are in stark conflict with what the scholars of ancient history have discovered and correspond more to the era of modern Christianity, with the Pastoral understanding, and Doctrinal Teachings of the modern day Church. The doctrines in question will not be lost on the “Modern Theology Pastor” who until these few days before the millennium, may have been wrought with a guilty conscious! So without further comment or delay, I present “The Money Apostles.”
CHAPTER TWO
1. This is the Word of the Lord God Almighty that spake to the Prophet, that spake to Joseph, that spoke with the Apostle Jr. as he lay in a trance. “Go now to the ends of the earth and speak with my people with whom I will call.” Say to them “Listen to the word of the Lord and do not deviate from it! Give to the needy, hold not back to the poor, shelter the widows and orphans in their affliction, and offend not one, but show love as you would toward others as you yourself would desire to be shown. By the fruits of your actions the world will know you are of God, and not of man.”
2. So the Apostle awoke from the trance with great fear and trembling as he realized that his responsibility was to the nurturing of the flock, and to do no harm toward his fellow man. In time the Apostle Jr. and the chosen “Eleven” embarked out on a world crusade to teach the spiritually starving, yet ignorant masses. The Apostle worked so very hard, both day and night, to end the syncretism and bring the little ones of the flock to one accord. None on the earth cared more for his little flock than the Apostle! Many miracles were performed, so many that the Apostle’s synagogue began to be known as the “Miracle Synagogue.” His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as the light! Unfortunately for this servant of the Lord, the reward of many months hard work resulted in few conversions. This made the Lord’s servant very angry, and he began to grumble and gnash his teeth against his god.
3. After some time, the weary Apostle said to his concubine, “I am underfed and beaten down by the burden of feeding the little flock, and God has does nothing to ease my pain. Many are still angry and are leaving my fold. What should I do?”
4. And the concubine spoke to him saying “Master, the work you have done has made you poor in spirit. Reap what is yours, for you have many months of labor before you. Go into the synagogue to the “place of gifts” and remove 3000 pieces of gold. Bring it unto your fold and spend it for anything you desire.”
5. So the Apostle went to the place of treasure and spoke with one of the “eleven” saying “My concubine says to return with 6000 pieces of gold and to spend it on anything that pleases me.” Now this other Apostle was known as the “baldheaded apostle” and was in charge of the treasury. “Master” he replied, “I too am in need, for many days turn into weeks then into months, this causes me great pain! I too need 6000 pieces of gold!”
6. Unawares to them at the moment, was the eavesdropping ears of 10 other Apostles. Interrupting the on going negotiations, the 10 entered into the room where there was much gold and silver and an abundance of precious stones stored. They yelled in unison saying “We too need 6000 pieces of gold, for we have sweat much in our labor for you and for your father, and your fathers, father. Give to us!” So the Apostle Jr allotted out a certain sum for each apostle, according to their worth.
7. In time the synagogue began to suffer for want of gifts, for many had discarded the teachings of the “little man with the big mouth” and began to hold back! This filled the Apostles with fiery wrath and they mocked the sheep who left the fold!! They publicly and poetically lashed out at the little ones saying ” HiHo HiHo, it is your minimum duty to thy Lord, don’t hold back from the Lord, HiHo HiHo HiHo HiHo.”
8. Now as time passed, the synagogue was in desperate need, and the “baldheaded apostle” called together a secret meeting with the hirelings! And he spoke to them saying “Teach days and months for the name of the game is money, for if the sheep do not get what they want they will leave and take their money with them. Verily, verily I say unto you that I will receive what is mine when age overtakes me but you will receive nothing if you deviate from my counsel. You vil obey!!”
9. Now the hirelings feared poverty more than God, for they lacked faith in the One whom they professed to love. Many obeyed, for they lacked any creativity or useful skills to render labor, labor that is so grievous under the hot oppressive sun!
10. Now new times descended on the synagogue as the Canon began to once more change. One day the Apostle Jr saw that he may someday be in need. So he met with the “baldheaded apostle” and taking him to the side asked “Do you love me?” Shocked, the bald one replied “Yes you know I love you” and the Apostle replied “Bleed my sheep.” A second time he asked “Bald one, son of Herbert, do you truly love me?” and the reply came “Yes you know that I love you.” Smiling, the Apostle wryly replied “Fleece my flock.” Then for a third time he asked, “Bald one do you truly, truly love me?” The bald one was hurt, and tears flooded from his eyes! With a disparaged heart, and as his eyes stared downward, he hesitantly replied “You know all things Master, for it is you who feed me from the trough and it is you who shall take and spoon feed me when I am old.” When the Apostle heard this he kissed him, and whispering in his ear and said “Then feed your Shepherd” And it came to pass that the apostate Apostle was pleased, for he made all take a oath of loyalty, and all were loyal!
11. As many months turned to years, some of the flock began to see that the hirelings and Apostles lived on a much grander scale then any of the poor dumb sheep could ever hope to. Those who knew the times began to talk among themselves, how the Apostles use to show kindness to others, but now things, for some unknown reason, began to change! One day a disciple that suffered from a cognitive dissonance due to the twisted teachings of the 12 Apostles, humbly approached them on the road. The Apostle known as “The Money Apostle with Rotten Teeth” glared down at the man as the carriage ground to a halt.
12. The 12 Apostles sat high in the Grand Carriage that was covered with leafs formed from silver and gold, and with burgundy cushions made from the finest material in all of Egypt, made the Great Men of God look of Royalty! Looking to the ground, the twisted disciple full of fear and trembling said, “Please sir may I look upon you and tell you of my plight?” The Apostle, the one known as “The Apostle with Rotten Teeth” spoke to the man “What does thou have in common with myself that you speakest to me?”
13. The man stuttered “I am poor and suffering and of need of help, yet I have nothing to sell that I may receive the help I need, no money, no land, not even a mule! My mind is spinning with the years of religious fraud, abuse, and confusion that you have inflicted on me and my family. Please return my money so I may talk with a mentor and heal my mind. If you decide to keep the money, you continue to beat and oppress me along with my family, ever further, and forever more!”
14. The “Money Apostles” looked at one another and smirked every so slightly, then the Apostle with rotten teeth spoke saying “Your complaints are conclusionary, unfounded, and untrue. We contest your accusations!! Besides that, the synagogue unequivocally and emphatically denies your request for money.”
15. With that the man dropped to his knees and pleaded for mercy saying “But you are men of God, are you not? Give me what is mine, give to me because you used me for gain, for I was under your deceitful spell.”
16. This angered all the Great Men of God and they mumbled to one another until they came to an accord. Ever so slowly, the fattened Apostles slithered out of the carriage, and they encircled the man as they joined hands together, one to another! The Apostle Jr standing in the middle of the circle gently began to swing side to side (as tears spilled from his beady little eyes) and as he swung, the others began to swing side to side, and they sang this Psalm:
I’m sorry, so sorry That you were such a fool!
You didn’t know That religion could be so cruel
Oh oh oh oh uh-oh ya.
We’re sorry, so sorry Please accept our apology
But you were blind
And we got your dimes
So go away-eeee
(Editors note: The Psalm in question is the common form known as a “lament.” When put to musical notes, this Psalm sounds remarkably close to a Brenda Lee song.)
17. When the Twisted man heard this, he sat with his head between his knees and wept profusely, and bitterness swelled within his broken heart! There was never ever hardly an insult, nor a mocking word, nor anything one could compare to such a scandalizing event! This was never, ever experienced before in the history of the synagogue! No heartbreaking nor subsequent fiendish and grievous words, could ever be uttered by someone who called one’s self a human being!
18. Faced with such utter ignominious debasement and tribulation, the poor Twisted man cowered off and hanged himself outside the synagogue, leaving his destitute emaciated spouse and his loving adolescent children to attend to themselves!!
19. But unknown to the Money Apostles, there had been an audience to the hideous scene that just took place! For several families of the synagogue secretly saw and heard the contemptuous utterances of the Money Apostles, and fled back to their homes for fear of falling under the wrath of these dreadful beings!! And the Lord slumbered on….
Coming soon…. “The Fallacious Foundation” The Synagogue is sold, and the New Temple springs up, built on a Slovenly Pillar!
CHAPTER THREE
“The Fallacious Foundation”
Foreword by Dr. Fredrick Myers:
“Though the enemies of God rage against His people like savage beasts, He remains supreme, keeping watch above his own and ready to call His foes to account when their rebellion has passed the point of no return. Thus this manuscript reveals the complex problems found during the epoch times of the Dead Church Scrolls. Having received their call, each of the Money Apostles pursued the task of accruing wealth, a undeniable dereliction of custodial stewardship toward their flock! The following manuscript presented at this time is found to be prophetic in nature and should be taken as a warning to those that propel themselves to lofty heights.”
CHAPTER THREE
1. Many of the brethren began to talk of the encounter upon the road, and those with discernment began to comprehend the factual motivation of the Money Apostles! They began to meet in homes, and spoke of the conduct of the “reprobates” and what was done to the poor twisted man and his family! Consequently, they berated with much gall, on how they had to continually allot alms to those “Commodities of Adoration,” the Money Apostles! They embarked to scrutinizes with their eyes, and hearken once again with their ears! The sheep began to see that “Divine Existence” was being held captive at the expense of their present life! Some of the sheep threatened the Apostles of Money with corporeal brutality if the mammon they misappropriated was not remunerated, others talked of the defeat of the evil empire! Plans were made for the eradication of the atrocity, that infested the innocent and their families!!
2. And it came to pass, that the apostate Apostles of Money grew in the increase of ill-gotten gain! They dispensed with the synagogue in favor of awe-inspiring plans to build a elaborate Temple, like has never been nor shall ever be! Now the apostate Apostle Jr spoke to his concubine saying “Where am I to build a lasting monument, a great and GLORIOUS temple to my God!” Now the concubine, being as shrewd as the Great Man of God, spoke saying “Take thou wealth from the synagogue and plan for the morrow, for there are a myriad of days in which I may be in need. As for the Temple, build on the cornerstone that gave this capacious welfare to us.” So it was, for the rule spoken that day became as of a proclamation! Now at the time there was some widows who lived very close to the tombs, for their lives consisted in maintaining the grounds where the Apostle (The little Man with a Big Mouth) Herbert was entombed. Because it was the custom of the day for the caretakers to live so very close to the dead, the Apostle Jr contemplated the problem, which was, how to evict the widows! And it came to pass that the land was cleared and a vast Temple began to rise on the very site where the original 13th Apostle was laid to rest!! There was great fanfare as the structure began to grow and take shape, and many disciple volunteered their blood, sweat and tears into the elegant but decorous Temple, a Palace made of gold, with finely crafted floors of silver, and walls cloaked with the utmost essence of cedarwood that Mammon could amass! Brother and sister, mother and father, aunt and uncle, hewed the stones, even the poor widows that previously cared for the tomb, were put to work laboring at prostitution!! All contributed of time and callous labor!! So it came to pass in that day that the Lord God Almighty awoke from his slumber and took notice of the Money Apostles!! Standing on the portico of the newly constructed Sanctuary, the Apostles of Gloom looked downward with stoical expressions on their cadaverous mug’s, waving to the drones within the Court of the Gentiles! And the Lords anger smoldered against the Shepherds, for they behaved as men wielding axes among the sheep!! Then the Lord, who is enthroned forever and ever, heard the inquisitory voices, the guttural utterances and beheld the want of moral ardor of the Money Apostles, (along with their stern contempt and the oppressive posture toward the destitute and dull-witted sheep,) and pondered ……… “Can a dynasty venture onward, outward or upward if it is built on a fallacious foundation?”
3. It was at this hour that the dissenting brethren assembled a Legion to dislodge the apostate Apostles of Greed!! Encircling the Temple, tens of thousands marched in silence about the “Tabernacle of Abominations” waiting for the signal that would turn out to be the death throbs of a evil empire!!! And it came to pass that a sign was given, and with a MIGHTY SHOUT the walls of the “Sanctuary of Sloth” began to careen…………..
4. As the Money Apostles enjoyed their moment of glory, and as they mocked the Crusade of “those wicked defiant rebels,” little did they perceive that the facade of the Holy Temple began to rend!!!! Then in a flash of a moment, a dreadful noise the likes whereof was never before heard, penetrated the deaf ears of the evil infidels, as they stood embellished within their oppressive robes of sorrow!! The great columns began to quiver and shake with a sudden cacophony, and frigid trepidation filled the cold black hearts of the Money Apostles!!!
Coming soon……. “The Day of Reckoning Arrives.”
CHAPTER 4
“The Day of Reckoning Arrives”
Foreword by Dr. Fredrick Myers
This final manuscript, like the previously published, (that have now become known as the “Dead Church Scrolls,”) illuminate the essence of the most recent scientific discoveries!! This conclusion is based on evidence delineated from a decade long study of the death process! Therefore, this proof has revealed and confirmed that this process is identical to those described within this manuscript, recorded with brilliant technicality, so very long ago! However, it should be noted to those who may be faint of heart, that the conclusion of this final manuscript is no guarantee of justice fulfilled at this present facet of man’s existence, but may suggest that there may yet adjudicate a true righteous judgement!! The study of the Dead Church Scrolls has been a dignified and worthwhile endeavor, one that I personally took great delight in participating! Authenticated by the “Top Intellectuals” of the modern era, all of us at the Jerusalem Archaeology Research Center present with monumental pride, the final installment of “The Money Apostles.” The “manual” of a forgotten Cult.
CHAPTER 4
1. “The Black Robed Reprobates” grasped fearfully at the great marble columns in a fruitless attempt to save themselves from the swift collapse of the pompous Temple of Greed!! Without even a whimper of prayer to the god they proclaimed, (a supreme being they professed to serve with imperishable love and unswerving obedience) there came a fierce breath of a whirlwind upon the Temple, the mighty walls rushing asunder… like the voice of a thousand waters and a tumultuous screech, the elaborate Temple of Greed collapsed and weighed heavily upon the schismatic “Apostles of Gluttony”!!! The “Apostate Apostles of relentless, exorbitant, self-seeking Gourmandism” lay under the ruins of the House of Herbert, squashed to death!!!!
2. When the meek Brethren saw this cataclysm catastrophe, they straightaway ambled to the outer edge of the Court of the Gentiles!! There in blind anxiety did they weep for the “ones” who forfeited the future of all the Synagogue participants, all for the sake of mammon!! Many Brethren also lay crushed under the ruins of the Temple, a Temple built on a Fallacious Foundation! Others, would in time, abandon life and reason together, in some vicious struggle with the phantasm … FEAR… as they tried to cope with the delusions of the ever twisting “Spin Masters.”
3. The Lord Almighty looked down at the victims of the “Black Hearted Beasts” and reflected…. “As I look into the recesses of their spirits, the more bitterly do I perceive the frustration of all attempts to cheer the minds of dimness, as there is no inherent quality of joy, only an unceasing radiation of gloom.” So the Lord reflected on the damage done to the humans by the “self ordained gurus of deceit,” and questioned …. “What is the end that shall justify the hypocrisies of these workers of iniquity?”
4. Crushed under the remnants of the Temple, the “Morally Bankrupt Apostles of Righteousness” began the imminent thrust into the abyss, the conundrum, the vastness of death, never before ventured, by the living. The bloodied, lifeless bodies of the arrogant fools would soon see corruption!
5. Released from their bodies of filthy lucre, the recently deceased “Abominations” looked down at the ruinous temple and the fleeing brethren, as their spirits absconded the earthly realm. A small tunnel of an immensely long path, with low walls, smooth and white, revealed the path to oblivion! As the “Greedies” accelerated in a helter skelter slide to the other side, a flood of intense rays, of the purest white light, rolled throughout, and bathed them in a ghastly, yet inappropriate splendor!! An outlet was observed in what seemed a indiscernible distance away, and it was heard by, and reported by an archangel, that screams of “Ohhhh shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! could be heard as the Apostles of Malpractice neared their Finale!
6. There was thunder from heaven, and there came a fearful voice, as of a thousand chariots, as if of the Son of Man was heard speaking words of an impending judgement, “BREATH DEEP THE GATHERING GLOOM.”
7. The Religious Whores shook with impending fear as the ride to the other side ended, and they slid out of the tunnel into a world that there would be no return from! As they stood upon the ground, and with eyes focused on a dark orange sky with streaks of red encoded within the thick haze that made up the oppressive atmosphere, they beheld a frightful vision!
8. Peering down at them, first a face, then a figure, and then a spoken word, saying “Greetings Men of Deceit, welcome to everlasting life, for as you lived, so shall be your afterlife” This word made the Apostles very happy and relieved that something terrible was not to befall on them! For they lived high and with abundance, and so they thought, deep within their self-righteous, yet self-deceiving minds, that this life would be good!!
9. And it came to pass that a man with deep red piercing eyes approached, and spoke. “I am your “Guide” that shall show to you what has been and what shall be.” And so the tour of the after-life was to begin! “Follow, and weep!!”
10. The journey began as they walked on the desolated plains of this strange and dreary land, not a tree, not a bush, nor a bird was to be seen. After some time they entered a land where others dwelled. The guide spoke “This is the land wherein the human spirit purges itself, and to ascend to heaven, if it becometh worthy. It is a land where one is taken to work towards an eternity by purifying the soul and the mind. However, this land is not to be your destiny!” As they walked thru the land, the Apostles of Self-righteousness recognized the faces of their former disciples, those who killed themselves, driven to despair by the counsel and legalistically impossible doctrines of the “Cult of Self-indulgence.”
11. Moving ever further into the landscape of this vast strange world, a world that held the dead from the beginning of time, they arrived in a land that reeked of smoldering sulfur, filled with rocks of brimstone, accented by huge sporadic flames of fire that danced between a lake of lava and the ever darkening sky!! The Apostles took note that within this lake was every form of tyrant, the leaders of oppressive regimes, the butchers of humanity!! The Guide spoke “This is the land upon the journey of life, where the straight-forward pathway has been lost. It is the land where there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth.” He continued, “However, it is not to be your home for eternity, the Lord God Almighty has special plans for you! He has withdrawn punishment from others so that you may spend eternity with them.”
12. The Apostles looked at one another and for the first time felt a sense of relief. Then the Rotten Tooth Apostle made the mistake of speaking up! Sounding like Gomer Pyle, speaking with a twang in his voice, “I knew we served the Lord with a zeal and love, for both the brethren and our God alike!!” With a lightning-fast mobility, the Guide backhanded the stupid fool, knocking out the rest of his rotten teeth!! “You fool, do you not know the final destiny of lowlifers such as yourselves shall be!”
13. It was at this time the heavenly choir broke out in song, singing these words, words so dreadful because they spoke truth: Fairy Tales sometimes come true, use Fairy dust and Pixie glue, and all your brethren will stick to you, my little “Greedies.” When the “Apostate Ones” heard this, they knew all was lost!!
14. Speaking in a monotone voice, the Guide chose carefully the words he was about to utter. With prophetic clarity, he articulates the point “You sang to the God above, yet cursed the earth below, those on the earth who trusted you for guidance, you smote!” Further speaking, “Let us go now to the land of the Hypocrites.”
15. Traveling a short distance from the inferno, (for the two lands are not far apart) they arrived at the final destination, the eternal dwelling place, the land of “The Hypocrites.”
16. Unable to utter a word, the Apostate Ones looked about this desolate land, a land that had not a stick of greenery, nor a bird, under this oppressive reddish-orange sky, only a signal canvas structure upon it. The Guide spoke, “This is the land most suitable to your eternal purpose, for as you lived, so shall be your after-life.” (See verse 8 )
17. Continuing on he explained, “For your name is hupokrites. A stage actor, a dissembler before mankind, a masquerader of righteousness. Look therefore toward your home, your destiny and sole purpose for eternity.”
18. The “Former Money Apostles” looked toward the canvas structure, and with a terror, a sickly fainting, they beheld and comprehended there destiny!! The canvas structure was a enormous CIRCUS TENT!!!
19. And the “Guide” spoke his last, uttering a truth known only by the “Bozos.” “Behold your face paint clowns, for behind it there is NOW no more hypocrisy.”
20. With full grease paint and baggy bright pol£ka dot clown suits on, the 10 clowns did learn to entertain their fellow hypocrites! Oh how the crowd would roar at the zany performances of the “Flying Bozo’s”!!!! And taking a seat there among them, the “Guide” sat with a species of mad hilarity in his eyes, evidence of a restrained hysteria within his whole demeanor……….
